Shafiqa Naafisya...

The CMI 2 days 1 night camp.

2012-01-27T22:18:00.001+08:00

The camp has ended, it didnt satisfy me at all. Everything goes not according to plan. At first, it was fine. We set up the tents and I manage to cook potatoes with luncheon meat. Yummy. When my eldest aunt came, she was so noisy. Every stuff we did she will ask -.- Her daughter also complained about the taxi fare. Then, the barbeque came in. I dont quite mind at first. But when it starts to rain, the aunties start to kecoh. Really, like complaining about their wet clothes and asking for food. Stupid, its raining. How are you gonna barbeque the fucking food? So what are the junk foods for? I mentioned it in the proposal I have made. Yes, a proposal. Junk foods are for supper. Fuck, no wonder they are fat. And guess what, when the aunties decided to take over the barbeque, they actually used 3 blocks of my solid fuel. Baik. Then, the next morning less solid fuel to cook for breakfirst and lunch. Nice. If you wanna use, can always ask permission right? -.-

When the rain finally stopped, the birthday boy arrived. And you know what? I bought a tray of 30 eggs and a packet of flour for the birthday bash, as promised in the proposal. Fuck, there wasn't a birthday bash. How mad can I be?

When people start to clear off, its already 3 plus in the morning. Finally some peace. Left me, Naazira, Amira, Shah, Firaas and Mariam. We slept after discussing about illuminati. Sadly, I woke up at 5.15am, shivering like im about to freeze. I damn couldn't take it. At the same time, the edge of my sleeping bag were wet. So, I have nothing to cover myself. Seriously, it was fucking cold! Brrr!!!

Wake up in the morning at 6.45am, the sunrise was ugly. We had baked bean and egg for breakfast. And I was the chef, again. Might as well I camp by myself right? I mean like, come on, you guys are spoiled brats. Grow up and change for goodness sake. -.- After breakfast, went for swimming. I think only for an hour cause I'm afraid I might get dark again.

After wash up, yes, after wash up. I cleaned the biggest tent and un-pitch it on my own. Camp sorang kapersh? Guess what the spoiled brats are doing. They went to the closest shop to buy drink and snacks. Hello? We still have yesterday's junk food and the glucose powder. Thats the problem with kids growing up with lots of money. Money wasters.

What else? After we settle down, I decided to cook maggie noodle for myself. Just like according to plan. I cooked for Naazira as well. You know what the rest are doing? Sleeping. Baik, I bought 3 packs of maggie noodle and we only used two packet? Fuck, if you guys don't want to have these food, why didnt mention it earlier? You guys have agreed with the proposal I've made and now my money is wasted. If I know you guys didn't want these, I can always change to barbecue. But you guys agreed. Imagine how fucking pissed I am????

I swear, I am never gonna make any outing for my cousins. I tried my best to bond everybody together. I was daring enough to take charge of this. Lesson learned. Once bitten, twice shy. And I've found the cause of everything. We have very bad communication and selfish people. That's it.

Oh, by the way, I have twitter account liao. Follow me kay? Bye.

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Spoiled plan!

2012-01-22T23:44:00.001+08:00

Basically I'm at my worst now. I'm freaking burning up like hell. I'm sitting in the tent with everyone squeezing inside. They are complaining about on food. Baik. Then the tibits, buy a lot for what sey? Intention was to have somewhat a survival camp. And now they made use of my solid fuel for barbeque. So tomorrow what are we gonna eat for our breakfirst? FUCK. Thanks eh.

I may have PMS now. But this is too fuck up.

Irritating!!

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Self Confusion ?

2012-01-21T20:42:00.001+08:00

Great. I accidently pressed something before I could finish typing. So, the previous post was left hanging. Heh.

Continue..

So last Saturday, POY celebrated Diana's 19th birthday at the banglah park. Then went to SAFRA to play LAN for 2 hours. Nice. After that, had dinner at Jurong Point MacDonald. Then, went to lepak at Quraishah's void deck. Did some funny stuff with my video camera. I'll upload it at POY's blog soon. And Facebook? We'll see.. Heh.

And yes, about my new Xperia Ray. I recontracted my 2 year plan and bought this phone at $64 at Singtel Online with my own pay and im totally satisfied with it. Im loving it. Weee!

Let's comeback to the present tense.. I realise that I couldnt really find my satisfaction at all. When I work, I wish I didnt have to work and dream to be sitting at home earning money. But when im at home, I wish I could run away from all the stuff I'm told to do at home. -.- Wait, I thought I found an answer, I need to get back to school! Of course! And I can't wait for it! Like a small kid getting over excited to have her very first day in school.

I need more friends. What happened to the friends I used to have? Why are they running away? Or they went nowhere, I was the one who didnt bother or care about them. Just because I think they're fine on their own. Or they never needed me at all. Sometimes I wonder, I have lots of friends in Facebook but why are they not talking to me? Or maybe I should be the one starting a conversation with them? What if I did and they didnt reply or the conversation was left hanging again. Sometimes I couldnt even think of a subject to start a conversation. I was far away left behind from trend setters. Compared to the friends, majority doesn't have the same hobbies as mine. Like listening to hardcore and stuff like that. If you've forgotten, I'm turning 19 this year and im still dressing with the same old jeans and longsleeve shirts. Hair still same old long, just shorter and uglier fringe. I guess I have to start to change some things about myself and be satisfied? Guess so..

WTF!

Anyway, I have organized a 2 days 1 night camp at East Coast Park with some cousins. Starting tomorrw afternoon. I hope everything goes according to plan. :)

The young skateboarders under my block has finally stop messing around with their skateboards. Now they are playing The Concentration game loud enough, I could hear them from the living room. -.- Epic game.

Nights.

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Testing testing..

2012-01-19T18:49:00.001+08:00

It's been more than a week since I last post. Since the result and stuff. Just for update, I have registered for NAFA add will be sitting for a drawing test somewhere at the end of March. Finally, I'm back to school!

NAFA was big. There are three buildings that were placed seperately but in the same street. Which confused me when I made my way there. Can't decide which is the first block. The people around the school are very unfriendly and they really dress damn well. I wonder will I ever survive surrounded by these pretty monsters.

Anyway, been wondering where I've been lately? My last day of work was suppose to be on the 15th Jan. They asked me to extend my contract. I stupidly told them that I don't mind I'd only they remain my timing to be morning shift and doing seperate jobs, finance and A&E. They agreed with it but thank god that they allow me to have a week off. I told them I need to settle my school first, when actually there's nothing to settle. I just need a break. I'm tired too. I will only be starting back to work after CNY. Ten days of break. Wah!

So, what have I been doing? Sit at home and rest. Well I didn't actually rest, I helped Mummy do house chores. Follow her to shop. Like the old times.

And guess what, I'm actually posting this post with my new Sony Ericsson Xperia Ray! I'm loving it so much :)

It all started on Monday when I accidentally dropped my LG phone. When I tried to fix my phone back, it couldn't read my memory card. I was disappointed to know that it was memory card that was damaged. It was bent. All the stuff in it are gone, including Diana's birthday pictures that I took on last Saturday. .

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Hidden scar.

2012-01-11T23:11:00.001+08:00

E8. After all those waking up in the morning doing ten year series for almost 24 hours a day for more than a month. It's like my heart was being pierced by a lightning strike. It'll never be cured. It makes me think that fate makes dreams broken. I just couldn't understand why. After work, i went back home and straight into my room. I cried my lungs out. Like a small kid being canned by their parents with no reason. Asking why do i deserve this. Why do i have to face this? Where was my mistake?

But then, i realise that things had already happen. No use thinking about the past. The only way to solve this is to find ways to get over it. Maybe Allah knows better what's good and what's bad for me. The key to success is patience, that's what they've said.

And finally, i've let it out to Mummy. She asked me why do i keep worrying about money. About school fees and stuff. You know why? Firstly, i've disappoint my parents for not getting higher points for PSLE. And because of that, i have to spend 5 years in Secondary school. Then, I fail two important subjects for O'level. And now, i've wasted another year retaking O'level maths. I feel like, i was a burden to them. They have to pay extra because of me.. Though sometimes i did manage to pay for myself. But i lose my parents pride. Unlike Naazira who smoothly went to Poly and finishing soon. See now? Can anybody understand what i'm trying to explain here? That's the reason why i learn to be independent. I don't want my parents to take care of my mistakes. I had enough. I don't want to feel guilty anymore.

Then.. mummy said this, "I start to question myself. Why do you have to go through this? Compared to you and Naazira, you always listen to me. Help me. Dependable. You're such a good daughter to me. All those patience you kept when i asked you to do too much stuff. Even though you get mad, you still obey my orders. I feel so sorry for you''. :'C .... I'm touched.

So now, where am i heading? Most probably NAFA. Last year i was too late cause all courses were full. This time, i apply it on Monday evening. I don't quite care where I'm going. As long that i'm back to school. I'm happy enough. Working life is not fun at a young age. Seriously. No life at all. Let me be a student again, please!! And i've promised myself to work and earn enough for NAFA before school reopens. Of course i can, i know i can!

If you were to see me acting normal, like nothing happen. I'm just letting the past go. But deep inside, a hidden permanent scar. I'm trying my best to stay strong. Please help me go through this. Thank you.

Good night.

Tomorrow is it.

2012-01-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

Left less than 24 hours to O'level result. How disturbing to know that it is less than 24 hours. Tomorrow, i'm still gonna work as usual. I'm giving Mummy the honour to check my result on the website at 2pm sharp. Mummy said she had the feeling that i would pass. Because last year, it was my very first time to get a D7 for maths in any examination or test paper in my secondary school life. Other than N'level. Which i got a 5. And this time, i did studied more than in 2010. So now, I'll just pray for the best. Hopefully 2012 will finally be a blast.

Last Friday after work, went to Nanyang Poly for their night open house with Diana and Quraishah. It's just a simple night outing. I really do wish that we could spent much more time together. So that we could fulfil our swimming, badminton, marathon, Lan, picnic plans. LOL.

Basically, that's all. Yep, another short post. Nothing much happened anyway.
Good night.

Update again.

2012-01-05T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hey! I got my pay. But, hey! That doesn't mean that i could spend it all. I have to pay back everything i borrowed from mummy, transport fees and etc. And also, I have confirm myself that i am not going to extend my job here. I have no interest and never will. So, i'll be searching for a new job. Again. Though i know the pay there was good but if you're treated like a prisoner, i rather not stay. Tomorrow will be heading to Nanyang Poly for their night open house. uhm.. So this is just a short update. I have nothing much to say..

Look here!!..

1/2" or 12mm. \m/ ^^ \m/

2012 ?

2012-01-02T09:09:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's a new year already. And you've been with me for almost 5 years. Thank you Blog for your companion all this while. You've always been there when i needed. Cheers for another year! :)

And of course, I would love to thank Allah s.w.t. for allowing me to live for 18 plus years. Thank you for the past years, you allow me to face many situation, good and bad. And i know, everything is about Patients, Trust and Believe. It's all that i need. Thank you for everything, Amin.

Finally, manage to get out from the house and countdown with POY. On 31st December, played LAN at Jurong SAFRA at 7pm. For the first time of my life and i think we should go again. I know it's a waste of money but i might try to save some coins again. heh. After Lan, head to Jurong Point, Long John to have dinner. We accounted a weird situation of 'magic'. lol. At 9.45pm, we walked down to Boon Lay Shopping centre to have our countdown. The scenery was nice, filled with lights, almost similar to Orchard, just don't look at the shopping centre, look at the trees. haha. We found ourselves a spot to 'picnic' and played 'taiti'. Reminds me of my first time playing with my classmates after jamming. Sigh. Miss them a lot, i know they don't miss me. :( So.. we played till 11.55pm and then make our way into the crowd where everyone will be waiting for the fireworks. ... 5 4 3 2 1 Happy New Year!! And guess what, waiting for the fireworks was too long till my video camera could not finish taking all the fireworks. I missed out the last and the best one. Sigh. I took pictures with my video camera but all you'll see is huge ugly smudged lights. -.-

After the firework, we couldn't figure out where to go, home or ? Called our parents and finally we decided to meet Quraishah's parents at Taman Jurong Superbowl. Yup, bowling! The first throw of mine really shocked me because i went in strike. Like, i really do hope my start of the year will be a 'strike' as well. (7 days to Maths O'level result, please pray hard for me!! Amin) After one round of bowling, played arcade for a while. Went back home at 2.30 plus am. I met Naazira and Mummy at Pioneer Mall Macdonalds. The queue there was super long even at 2 am!

Next year, i don't think i wanna countdown at Boon Lay Shopping centre again.

So.. What plans do i have? uh.. Results on he 9th Jan, end of work contract on 15th Jan, 2nd BTT on 8th Feb, A Skylit Drive on 24th Feb, ADTR on 12 March, BTF and ABR on 30th April and my birthday, heh.

Yes, i failed my BTT. haha. Long story. I even 15 came mins late. heh

What's my new year resolution? No resolution until i get my result. Again, sigh. Oh shit, i'm 19 this year????? Why so old? I'm still stuck in Secondary school life sey. I still feel immature. I'm gonna be 19, stuck in a 17 year old body. -.- SIGH

And.. i still haven't get my pay. First thing to really look forward to.

That's all i guess?

Happy new year.

Good bye Cristmas

2011-12-26T23:33:00.003+08:00

Hohoho...

Yesterday was Christmas. Big deal? Big deal is that, today is a public holiday! Yay! No work! But boo, 'cause tomorrow i'll be working afternoon shift. 1.30pm to 9.30pm. Not fun at all. :( And and, i still have to do the house chores, even when Naazira is at home. She have more holiday than me and and still. Sigh, Again...

So on the weekend..
I spent nothing much on Saturday, other than work till 12pm, lunch, sleep, wake up at 8pm, watch TV, sleep. Yeah. Sunday, went to Johor to attend a Malaysian relative wedding. We had this for lunch.. Please be surprise..

They serve their Chicken rice soup with chicken feet and neck.. O.O I don't quite mind the soup. But the chicken parts are awkward. heh.

The food they serve were very simple. Just chicken rice. That's it. We were like the first few people to reach there. Few minutes later, the Malaysian start to come around. Then, my far away grandparents were so excited to see us, the Singapore people. I have the excited feeling too when i saw them but i just don't know how should i react. Heh.

I manage to take a photo of all my grandmother's step sisters. Yay! At least i still have some grandmothers. I was born with no grandparents from both parent sides which cause me to have lesser cousin. How sad. :( So after the wedding, went to City Square. Intention was to shop a little. Sadly, i bought nothing, again. Because of my aunt, who's busy shopping for here new born granddaughter. Mummy plan to come again someday, when we have enough money and time. Okay!

Enough about the weekend. I got jealous to see people around me are having thanksgiving with their friends and relatives. I have none. I never had that before. Naazira bought presents for her workplace and friends. Me? I don't even meet my friends and i work with aunties and uncles. Give them also they wont bother. -.-

There's one time i was looking through some travel deals at Groupon. Mummy suddenly asked me about me going out with my friends. She told me to get a cheap ticket and go to Batam for our outing. Ya right, as if she would allow me. She may give me the freedom to go back home after midnight but never allow to sleep over even in chalets. -.- And guess what, Naazira had done sleepovers lots of time. I understand if she need to do her schoolwork. But chalet? I mean like. seriously, If you were to compare my circle of friends and hers, mines are the one that goes Ramadhan prayers. Hers will be the one that manage to steal beers and drink. Mummy was so excited to see Naazira's friends. Mummy didn't even ask about me about going with my friends.. And yup, it's almost new year.

Basic theory test is on this Wednesday. Wish me the best please! I revise quite a lot today. I thought of going out after the test but Mummy had me booked, again.. How am i suppose to go out then????

Life life life... I've been patient for too long.....

Okay, enough of the sad story. August Burns Red and Blessthefall is coming to Singapore on my birthday next year!!! Baik or what?!!?!?! 30th April! Don't forget A Day to Remember on the 12th March. Set ah. I'm all out for it!

Good night.

Should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere?

Or would it be a waste even if i knew my place

Should i leave it there?

SIGH

2011-12-22T18:45:00.003+08:00

Home alone for awhile. Yay. Mummy went out to see our new born niece at KK Hospital with my aunt. Went back home walking again. Reached home and the first thing i saw is a letter for Naazira about SIM. Sigh. Doesn't it feels good to receive letters from school. Like they're trying their best to pull you into their school. Not like me, I have to beg like begging for mercy. :(

Today, Daddy finally gave away his Comfort Taxi. No more big blue Taxi. Fuck Comfort. Fuck those who complaint too much. _|_ Don't know what's gonna happens next. If only i could help. Really like seriously.

At work, everyone is asking me about my result and about extend my comtract. Everything depends on my results. Again.

SIGH!

GIGANTIC SIGH!

The weekend

2011-12-18T13:46:00.001+08:00

Hey! Somebody Googled me. I saw that in my statistics. heh.

Woke up early morning, clean the whole house. On my own. -.- Mummy is sick and im fine with that. This bitch, Naazira, has been sleeping the whole morning, as if she's the who did lots of work. Sigh.

I spend my time at home this weekend. Nothing much, just resting and relax. Yesterday night, i cook instant porridge for Mummy, Naazira and myself. For the second time in my life. The first time i did, the rice wasn't cooked enough. This time, i passed. Yay.

Last friday, i manage to walk home from West Point Hospital :D

Not sure if the purple line that i made can be seen. The blue line is the everyday bus trip i took to work. I walk back home from interchange. On friday, i made my way home by walking home using the purple line. And guess what, it took me exactly one hour to reach home, which is the same timing if i were to take bus home. Cey! Total about 4.5km walk. Baik. :D

Okay. I'm bored. bye.

Just an update.

2011-12-14T22:53:00.001+08:00

My family is in a lost. Our situation doesn't get any better. Daddy has been suspended by Comfort because of a selfish complaint by a selfish bitch. If you're not happy bitch, you don't have to this. Why can't you just tell my dad face to face and end the story there? My dad is the only breadwinner and we depend much on him for our daily expenses. What do you get for complaining to Comfort?! Customers always right but have you ever give a thought on how hard people tried to give good customer service? Bitch, you just make a family suffer. Fuck you!

I'm not happy working at AnE. When it comes to the peak hour, I have to register people, take their temperature, retrieve their cards, place the cards in the doctor's room, answer phone calls, key in x-ray. I also have to liase with foreigners especially Bangladeshi, Indians, Chinese and Thai. Fuck, i'm just a part timer. I'm not a direct language translator, i wasn't taught to do that. I don't even know how to answer calls especially when they ask about audiometry check ups or what ever shit check up. And what blood check up or which x-ray code is meant for which. Even the price. And the doctor's handwriting, i guess parents don't have to teach their kids how to write nicely 'cause if their handwriting is unreadable, i bet they'll grow up to be a doctor. -.- I used to give good customer service in BATA, i was taught to do that. In AnE, there are no such thing as good customer service, i've lost mine too :( It really does test my patients.

I was told that my contract will end on the 15th of January 2011. Finally! However, they decided to extend the contract, if only i'm willing. I don't mind extending, as long they didn't put me in AnE anymore. hmph. And also, depends on my maths Olevel result. heh. Still, i haven't got my first pay. :O

Anyway, last Sunday, I had lunch at ShinTokyo Clementi Mall with cousins. We bought this Deal coupon earlier so all we have to do is eat. :) I ate sushi till i need a long break to have the mood to eat sushi again. Heh. The Ramen was nice but i still prefer Udon when it comes to Japanese food. Yummy.. When we're done, we walked around Clementi mall. After that, my aunt, niece and cousin decided to head back home while me, Naazira, Mummy and Amira (cousin) went to Bugis.

The hotel toilet and the new bag.
And boots!

Intention was to accompany Amira to shop for her clothes. I ended up shopping as well. Mummy and Sister too. heh. I bought this jacket with some fluffy fur inside it. Perfect for cold weather, perfect for me to wear it to work. hahaha. I don't have to wear 3 piece of shirt anymore :D I also bought a bag. Speaking of cold, i think i know why my body can't stand the cold. I didn't eat garlic, ginger and drink Green tea. These are the ones that will help heat up our body. heh.

While shopping at Bugis street, almost every sales person speak with us in mandarin -.- Lucky me and Naazira could understand a little. But, the funny thing is, there's this sales person, where i bought my bag, speaks in English to an Indian customer. When, it comes to us, they automatically change to speaking in mandarin. Even when Mummy was there, who's wearing a scarf. LOL.

An incident happened when we have the sudden urge to pee. We passed by a hotel and decided to go to the toilet there. The toilet needs a card to open the door. A Chinese cleaner came out from a near by room and saw us. He was really friendly. He starts speaking in mandarin with us, again. He help us unlock the door with his card and told us that we have to ask the reception counter for the card. Haha, lucky we understand a little.

So.. that's how i spend my Sunday last week. And i have 2 weeks to BTT. :O

Sigh, every price seems to keep moving up. Money may not bring happiness but it's imporatant to have money to survive!
Good night.

Before bedtime.

2011-12-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

I should be sleeping but i just feel like talking. heh.

Today i was late for work. I reached at 8.08am. I have to punch my card by the way, damn. Today at A and E, quite simple job and very boring. But time passed by faster than it did when i'm at SOC. After lunch, went to the office to continue doing finance. Sadly, they couldn't log in to the application and they have to make a new account. Which will take 3 working days time. So i have to wait for 3 days before i come back to do finance. Then i have nothing to do in the afternoon. So just now, i went back to SOC for awhile. When i went to A and E to key in x-ray, they told me to come back to A and E. One of the staff told me that i'm good at multi tasking. Sigh.

I just had a short conversation with a cousin on Facebook, who attempted to delete Facebook. I told her, 'you're not alone. Yup, i used to think of deleting FB. But i was looking forward to the future, that's why i choose not to delete. She said she was fed up with people showing off and stuff.

Seriously, what if i didn't make it? Again? Fail. Feel like crying. It's about one month to results. I'm scared as hell. I was demoralised during the start of 2011, and i fucking had enough. :'C

Goodnight.

[Trailer] The Cat (고양이) - Korean Movie 2011

2011-12-04T15:42:00.000+08:00

Watched this yeterday night. I cried, not because of the ghost. I'm not afraid. I felt touched for the little ghost. What happened to her. I'm an animal lover, especially cats. I feel you. :,(

I'm always at amber, sometimes even red.

2011-12-04T10:49:00.001+08:00

Early morning and I'm already pissed. -.-

Mummy has been complaining about the everyday house chores. Because Daddy always want it to be clean. In his head, all he think is the cleanliness of the house. Seriously, nothing else. And because of that, Mummy have to wake up early morning, sweep the floor, mop the house, wash the clothes, hang the clothes, fold them every day. And she have to do it before Daddy comes back. As for me, I will be cleaning the toilet every morning before i get ready for work. And that doesn't seem to satisfy anyone else. Mummy thinks that i clean the toilet for the sake of cleaning. -.- Seriously, through my eyes, it's absolutely clean with no stains of shit and smells nothing like shit. At least i've helped than never, like the girl that just got back from China. She does nothing but priorities her own stuff first. Now, mummy complains that she got tired of doing this everyday. And since it's the weekend, she wants US to help do the chores. Well, the one who help wasn't us, it was just me. And that, nobody seems to even care, or think of it. Why? Why does she always get the greenlight? I'm always at amber, sometimes even red. Every time mummy will always call out my name to ask me to do something, barely Naazira.

And guess what, Mummy told me that our usual water bill was about $270 per month. When that girl went to China, our water bill was $140. Baik per?! Told ya, she shouldn't have come back from China. Let her stay there. But when i said that, Mummy thought i was joking and replied "Then we can take flight and visit her at China! Let Naazira rent a big house there since over there is 5 times cheaper. And we can go shopping!" -.-

And i replied,"I don't think so, i think when we visit her there and live in her house, we'll end up the one cleaning up her house. Like a maid. That's what we're doing now, in Singapore." Still, she insisted.

Is it so hard for them to listen to me??? Just now, Daddy wanted to buy bread with kaya and butter spread at the market. Mummy was the one speaking on the phone with Daddy. So i told them not to buy at this shop, the one that Daddy always buy the pizza bread. 'Cause they used planta, i prefer just normal butter. I told Mummy lots of time to tell Daddy not to buy at the same place but the one beside it. And that, Mummy said that that place doesn't sell the kaya spread. But i told her Daddy always buy there. She replied that Daddy always bought the kaya spread at a different shop, the one that has been closed down. Sigh, they never listened. When Daddy got home, he bought the one with planta. -.-

Another thing is, I was shocked to hear these words coming from Naazira's mouth. She told us her $500 per month from her intern will only be used for he laptop bill, nothing else. WTF? She's the one in the house that has been using lots of money, school fees, fees to China, transport money, pocket money (working at Kallang industrial area). I only need transport money for work since i had free lunch at cousin's house. But atleast i promised to pay them back when i got my pay. How could she be so heartless? This is just the beginning, what about in future?

At the mention of work, my working time will be changed from tomorrow onwards. 8am to 4pm Mom - Fri. Not sure about Saturday yet. In the morning, i will be at A and E (Accident and Emergency) counter. Afternoon will be in the office doing finance. I just hope i don't have to work on Saturdays. heh. Lazy liao. O.O And about may pay, I will only receive my pay on the middle of each month. 'Cause part timers will receive cheque from HQ and needed signature that cause it to be late. Thanks a lot.

Honestly, i miss working at BATA. ' Cause i miss meeting people and serving them and give good customer service. Doing cashering, make new friends. Now at work, my friends are all aunties and uncles. Baik. Mau ajak lepak persh? But i know, i still have to think about the pay i'm getting. Here is more worth it then BATA. But, everyday i see banglahs and other foreigners everywhere at work. sigh.

Anyway, today Mummy cooked soup with fishball and crabmeat and quail eggs and tofu. Yummy! Been so long. Everyday i ate rice with fried chicken and soy souce (kicap), for lunch at aunt's house. You know what she said? That's what you'll have to eat for not able to eat spicy dish. Thanks eh. -_-

You know what? There's no one i can rely on, other than you Blog. There's no one that can replace you. If you're a human, i would marry you. Only one thing could separate us, Internet connections. haha! Yeah. This is where i share my thoughts, my feelings, my everything. Not really everything lah, but 80% yes.. Unless, i finally found that somebody just like you, a human being. Don't worry, I'm not in a rush. I'll wait. Even if it takes me 100 years, I'm fine. As long i have you Blog, I'll be fine.

No work tomorrow!

2011-11-25T22:03:00.001+08:00

YES AH FINALLY! Tomorrow no work! Feel so tired. It's not that my body is aching or what. I just couldn't have enough sleep. Only manage to sleep 6 hours per day. Mummy only allows me to sleep after 12 midnight. Baik. Every day after lunch, i almost fell asleep while doing my work. -.- Oh yar. At the mention of work, i still don't have a permanent place. I'm still stuck at SOC, even though it's already the 25th when actually after 24th i should start doing data entry for finance. My cousin who's working in the office told me that the people there are fighting over me. Cey! So honoured. heh.

Sadly.... One of my colleague asked me this, "So after your O'level, you're going JC?".

My face look like JC type one meh? (So Singlish) Do I have the smart ass look? They really look highly on me. They keep praising me about how fast i could actually take things and learn. Too bad, non of them knew about the truth. If I was that smart, I might have been in a Polytechnic, having my second semester. In a design course of my choice. Yeah.

Why? I'm so good at doing hands on, helping others and lots of things. But when it comes to academic wise, I'm never that good. No matter how hard i try. Even my classmates knew i was the Most conscientious student in the class. Highest rank in CCA, blah blah blah. I know I've said this before but this questions are forever unanswered. Sigh.

I really do hope and pray hard that I really have the chance to pass my Maths. Please Allah. Amin!

Anyway, Naazira came back from China liao. She bought me a pair of boots and 2 blouse. So who wants to bring me out? I need to test my boots. heh.

Something wrong is happening with someone. ''Someone'' thinks that nobody cares about 'Someone'. This 'Someone' doesn't think before saying stuff in Facebook. Talking about how this 'Someone' feels. Letting out this 'Someone' hurt feelings. Well actually, you're just self-centred. You care too much about yourself, you forget about the others. You're lonely. If you think you might die alone without anybody knowing, you're not alone in this world. Stop being a pessimist. Look how happy i am, even though in real life, i feel the same. Letting out here in this blog is safer than anything because nobody knows what i said and how i feel but i let it out here that helps me feel a whole lot better. Stop depending much on others. It doesn't matter if you feel hurt, what's important is your love ones are happy and fine. Let them find you and stop thinking that you're forgotten because you never know if they have their own problems or not. No matter what, we're ....., we'll always love you. I was totally hurt by your foolish reactions. We all are.

Oh yar, almost forgotten. I went out for Karaoke with Mummy, Auntie and cousin Nisha last Sunday at somewhere near Orchard Road. Okay lah. Not so bad. At first i didn't want to follow because they will be singing Malay songs. But i manage to sing some English songs. And sing my lungs out, yeah. I need more of that. heh.

I can't wait till i get my pay. So broke! -.-

Good night!

PULANGLAH - AWI RAFAEL KARAOKE

2011-11-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

Yes, this is the one. The one i've listen. The one you've been whistling to when you strum your guitar. I don't know what song was it and i finally found it. It gives me the chills when I listen to it. Reminds me of you, always :C Pulanglah.

Driving license

2011-11-19T20:10:00.001+08:00

Oh yes. Haven't mention about this, have I? I'm going to have my Basic Theory Test on the 28th December. ^^ I haven't start studying, not even holding the book. I'll start maybe when Naazira came back from China. That will be next week. That was fast. I'm gonna make sure I pass my driving license before my birthday. \m/ That's all.

Data Entry clerk, to be.

2011-11-18T20:42:00.001+08:00

I've work for 3 days straight and i still don't know what position am I holding. I've helping the staff nurse from the SOC a lot. Actually, nobody really explained to me what i should really be doing. They just give me unfinished work, for me to finish it. Like what you see below, is a picture i took when i couldn't help myself from being awake. I have to write down 269 Bangladesh and Indian foreign workers names. -.- See those thick stack? But i manage to finish it though. heh

And then.. My cousin found this in her office at the photocopy machine. Someone left it there. So finally, i knew what i will be doing. Read this (below)

Didn't expect myself to be getting a position as Data Entry Clerk especially in a hospital. And it's soooo near to home!!!. Sykuralhamdullilah! I don't have to go around searching for job anymore! During the first day, i was actually told to work, minimum 4 hrs ($6.50 /hr) to help them paste some stickers. My work is all about getting ready for foreign workers to take their medical check up. The staff need help because there will be 470 workers coming down for check up. 200 already came yesterday. Damn crowded, full of banglahs. And the next 270 will come on the 23rd. So they need my help to register the 270 workers, paste theirs stickers on documents and bottles and pack them together.

Then, after 23rd, they told me that i will be transferred into the office as a data entry clerk, as mention in the picture above. Seriously, I dont even have to go for interview and i already got a job that is worth it. $6.50/hr and 5.5 days with office hours. Baik or what? :D Although working there feels so bored because they are all nurse and doctors within the age of 30s to 50s. And i have to be good. As in, i cant mess around much.. All i need to do now is to care about the money i'm getting. That's it. Working will keep me busy so that i wont have time to think of anything else. At all. No distractions.

Work life, I'm fully ready for it! GO GO GO!
Tomorrow is Saturday and i will be working half day and maybe gonna OT. Lots of work need to be done.. :O

But one big problem, even after wearing two piece of long sleeve shirts, i'm still shivering. I should really wear winter jacket to work. Cousin told me that it's because of not eating chili or spices made my body feel this way. True logic.

:( brrr...

I got a job so easy. It's like a miracle just fall upon me. I hope this will happen to my Maths result to. My New Year is gonna be blessed. Thank you so much Allah! You're always the best and forever! Amin!

West Point Hospital

2011-11-15T21:14:00.001+08:00

Today I'm so sleepy. -.- Woke up early morning and get ready for work. It's temporary work at West Point Hospital. I'm not sure until when I'm gonna work there but the pay is good. :) Thanks to my cousin who is working there and told me that they wanted manpower. Why not? Better than sitting at home, shake leg. Everyday, no life.

I did some data entry and sorting out documents. After lunch, i continued my work and also fell asleep. O.O I was trying my best to stay awake by standing. I think one of the doctors saw that i started 'head banging' when sitting down, sorting out the papers. How could i not feel sleepy if i had not enough sleep and i just had lunch and the aircon was freezing me. I ended up doing this. ( See picture below)

Yup, i'm sitting in a doctor's room like a boss. But not doing anything like a boss.. -.-
I spread out the papers so that i can move around, which successfully made my body feel awake. And the work is done in a more faster speed. These papers are patient's white card from doctors and i have to sort out according to date and numbers. And i have lots of stacks to do. Nice.

Tomorrow they told me to start work at 11.30am. That's all.

Gonna sleep now. wohoo!

*If you still cared, I bet you're proud of me now.

Brr.. the cold rainy night, especially after you bathe.

2011-11-13T22:32:00.001+08:00

Guess what, i just got home from Malacca this evening! So shagged. It's a 1 day 1 night trip. Very last minute. It was suppose to be a death visit for my great grandmother. :'C She was so healthy and strong. Died at the age of 90.

Dear Moyang, even though you might not know me well, but i remembered every little time we'd spent together when our family came to the village way years back, when i was still a little kid. I love the kampung so much. The adventure of the surrounding has no boundaries. You thought me a lot about the kampung. Like bathing in the toilet, with no shower pipes, just a small squared bath tub made of stone and naturally super cold water. It's been long since we last met. We might been far but those times remains the best. When I was young my grandmother passed away. So we were raised with no grandmothers, both parents sides. We were lonely. So now. Moyang is gone. Thanks to Allah that at least we still have my grandmother sisters to turn to. Even though i don't quite know them.

I don't know how it feels like to have an elderly in your house. Some appreciate them very much. some thinks that they are a disturbance. The best of all, cherish them well because not everyone will have the chance to go through it. I wasn't the lucky one. :/

Before the trip to Malacca, I was actually having an outing with POY. The outing was already been planned earlier so i didn't want to postpone it. I know, they have school and stuff to do. Anyway, when i reached home before 12 midnight, my cousins are all waiting for me already. Mummy asked me to follow. Maybe why not? Been damn a hell long since we've been to Malacca. The trip to our kampung was fine. The night was chilly. We stopped by a resting place and i saw a weighing machine! You know the one that you have to put in 2 X 20 cents coin. I always get excited about it. Heh. But it disappoints me when it didn't give out any paper or token back that usually will have some words about your weight and you personalities. Like the machines in Singapore. Well my weight is 45kg, height is 166cm-4cm(the platform of my sandals) = 162cm. And the machine goes " You are very slim!" haha!

We arrived at our kampung at Alor Gajah Malacca close to 5am. Met some far way uncles and aunties and grandmothers and grandfathers that lived in Malayasia. The Kampung looks a little bit smaller compared to years back. Perhaps it's because of me that is growing older so things changed. It was sad to know that some part of the house was already close to damage because of the old woods especially the balcony. That was where i slept with my cousins very long time ago and that night it rained heavily. You can even hear the frogs singing. It was the best night i ever had when i spent my time there. It was also sad to see things change, even people change. But i remained the same. Up till now, i never had any problems going into the toilet. So what if it's only made of stones with no pipes. And no toilet bowl? This is where adventure starts. This is where you learned and understand history. I don't give a fuck about tiny lizards. Even mosquitoes don't give a fuck about me. For goodness sake, it's just mind over matter. Urgh.

This is the Balcony then i've mention.(Above)

So after wash up, went to visit Moyang's grave. I was glad to know that my ancestors were also buried at the same graveyard too. Syukur Alhamdulilah. So after visiting, we had breakfast and then went to a near by bazaar. And i saw someone selling hamsters holding a Squirrel Glider! So EFFING CUTE!! O.O

Squirrel Glider! (Above)

After the bazaar, went back to our kampung for our farewell. I felt strange, a little bit sad as well. When we said goodbye, i really hope it wasn't the last. My grandmother's sisters hugged and kissed all of us. The urge to shed a tear when you finally get to hug your grandmother. I quickly move a way from the scene and set myself into the car. I miss kampung already. :(

So here's where i began to change my holiday mood into no mood at all. They decided to shop at Lakin. I followed Mummy and one of my aunt while others went separate ways. That was when i wished Naazira was there. At least she could accompany me from getting bored and irritated with Mummy's attitude. Forever finding scarfs that end up never used them at all and waste her money. And i bought nothing. How fun? -.- Thanks Mummy, seriously. And Naazira could have accompanied me go around the kampung and we could have already took lots of pictures. (That doesn't mean i missed her -.-) The whole back home trip was a total disaster, for me. Thankfully, i had my plugs on to help me chill my frustrations down.

So, that's for the Malaca trip.

POY's trip, started of late at 4pm. Raining spoils my mood to drees in style, Sorry. Cause I'm never good at handling the cold. heh. Went to Haw Par Villa then to Vivo for dunch (dinner +lunch?) then head down to orchard. I love the Polaroid photos we took. More outing please D:

And i was fucking damn shock that A Skylit Drive early bird tickets (80 pax) went sold out in just a day?!?!? And it's $40!!

Dammit! But wtf. I just bought the tickets at the normal price $50 , right before i started posting. (O.O) \m/

I'm done with chewing this gum. Oops!. heh.

Nights.

+Sorry, i know i was rude to just put on my plugs at the wrong situation , but this is the best way to help myself to calm down from the frustrations.

Lifetime's Acceptance Trailer

2011-11-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

For goodness sake, this is somewhat exactly all my life is about. What I've been through. But I just haven't been accepted. :C

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji.

2011-11-05T17:43:00.001+08:00

Hey, saw my Sabretooth sketch? Took me a day and a half to finish it. You know, have to pause and do some stuff Like eat drink, bathe, house chores and stuff. The reason why I drew it because.. Actually, it started from the thought of drawing a bat. and then it makes me think of something more unique and wild. Then I thought of tiger, and suddenly reminds me of Sabretooth, one of my favourites. It's so hard to get an exact picture of it cause it has extinct for years. Did some research about it to know about their actual features. So this is my drawing of a Sabretooth. yep.

Tomorrow will be Hari Raya Haji. So today, I'm fasting O.O And somewhere around my neighbourhood, there's a Malay wedding ceremony taking place at the void deck. And I can smell the food while sitting at the balcony. -.- And the karaoke session are hurting my ears. Damn.

Sigh, I've been doing bore when I'm bored. Boring! -.-

Confirm plus chop, so gonna work in two weeks time. Can't take this anymore!!!

P.S. I've streched my left ear, 8mm liao. Nice? \m/

So this is what happens after O'level. You hit and run. As always.

Sabretooth

2011-11-04T11:35:00.001+08:00

Sleeping With Sirens (If You Can't Hang)

2011-11-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

Met a girl at seventeen
Thought she meant the world to me,
So I gave her everything,
She turned out to be a cheat
Said she'd been thinking for a long time
And she found somebody new
I've been thinking that this whole time

Well I never thought you'd stay
That's okay
I hope he takes your filthy heart
And then he throws you away someday
Before you go, there's one thing you oughta know

If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door

I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take up all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time

You're the lowest type
You're the lowest

I met a girl talking away
She found a boy she knew she'd change
I changed my clothes, my hair, my face
To watch us go our separate ways
She said we've grown apart for sometime
But then she found somebody new
I hope Mr. Right puts up with all the bullshit that you do

Stay the hell away,
While I sit here by myself
And figure out how I got this way
Before you go, there's one thing you oughta know

If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door

I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take up all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time

I don't want to get things confused
She said she'd never settle for some boy she couldn't use
So now I gotta call the doctor
So he can prescribe me medication
So I can deal with all the memories of being here this way

I met a girl at twenty-three
Knew she meant the world to me,
So I gave her everything,
And she did the same for me

Imagine that!
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty face
No you're such a pretty, pretty face
Well, oh yeah...
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty face
No you're such a pretty, pretty face

I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take up all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time

Would you please stay and come inside, baby
Would you please stay and please be mine, baby
Would you please stay and come inside, baby
Would you please stay and please be mine?

http://www.lyricsmode.com

Mundane holidays

2011-10-31T12:53:00.000+08:00

I guess my holidays are boring. Even though it's the third day already. No outings. Nothing much. I clean my room up and it's neat and clean ^^. I'm so booored. Seriously. I tried playing games at Kongregate and after a while, i don't feel like playing anymore. I'm not the kind of person who prefers to watch the TV 24/7. Even though i have mio TV, i don't have great channels like HBO, MTV, Discovery channel, Disney and more. Watch some movies on the net but I'm using my old computer at home. Quality ain't that good. Everyone else are busy. I guess i should start searching for job again? hmm.

Or maybe i should start drawing back for my portfolio but i don't have any inspirations. I need inspirations and ideas too. And definitely, i need to go to the library cause today is the due date of the books i borrowed a month ago. I didn't even start reading it 'cause i was too busy with studying maths. :(

Someone please take me out or something, away from this house at least. Away from Mummy too. heh. Does a personal assistants have at least a day off?

I don't blame you. Well, you have me... :O

Mundane holidays :C

The begining of the aftermath of Maths O'level!

2011-10-29T02:55:00.002+08:00

Hello blog!
Missing me much? O.O

I am officially done with my Maths O'levels! And I'm totally free to do anything! Still, results might be a little bit risky.... Paper 1, not so bad. Counted the marks and checked the answers on internet forums. I passed. For Paper 2, I was a little bit disappointed with myself because I didn't manage the time well so I kinda miss out numbers of questions.Wasted. Counted the marks and checked the answers again. I failed Paper 2. But, the overall marks I would get for both papers is a just pass. C6. At least better than D7, again! These are only estimations. I hope it's true. *Pray hard.

During this two days of the exam papers, I met my ex classmates. And majority of my ex slassmates are my Primary schoolmates. Have I ever mention that? How nice.. Aww, miss them much. I hope they did too. I took my paper as a private candidate at Hong Kah Secondary School. During the paper, it was raining heavily and I was freaking cold. Worst of all, I was shivering and kept shaking my legs like I almost gonna have fits. The cold makes me wanna pee -.- Great. I hold it for two and a half long hours. Maybe that could also be the cause of me failing Paper 2. WTF. Anyway, I manage to have dinner with some of the guys. Reminds me of having recess after PE. And 2010 5n2 Hari Raya. And Chalet!! Damn it. Love those days.

So now that I'm free, what's next? I'm so gonna continue playing games on Kongregate. heh. And also, lets get fit! Not gonna start work yet cause this is what I call, The Holidays! Yep, MY holidays just started. :) So friends, 'if 'friends' is what they call themselves', would want to meet up, you may contact me 24/7. Cause seriously, I do need a getaway as well.

One more thing that i haven't mention is... On Paper 2 itself, Naazira had finally flew to China. Yep, I followed my parents to send Naazira to Changi Airport. I Sacrifice my time for that when I could have revise a little while before taking my Maths Paper 2 , which is the only hope of my future. If anybody would see my watery eyes when Naazira took off, that doesn't mean that I'm gonna miss her and stuff. Those are the tears of anger that represents the questions of why people really pay much attention to her than me... When she got her O'level result, the whole family asked about her. And when I took my N'level result, even the 5th person to ask was not even my own mother. And now, everyone texted me just to ask about Naazira well being. For goodness sake, I was never been hired to be her personnel assistant. I'm worried about my Maths and here they are, asking me questions about her. Tell me what or how should I feel?? If letting this go would be the best way to get over it, how am I suppose to get over it easily when it keeps happening again and again? If this is what you call being sellfish, I'm too kind enough to not even say a single word to them about this.

Oh well.

Actually, I have so much things to do now. I should start by cleanimg my room. Throw away all maths papers, yes ah! Heh. So gonna do that when i wake up in the afternoon. ^^ (Y)

I guess thats it.
Im sleepy. Good night!

Eyes Set To Kill - (Forget)

2011-09-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

Your words darting into me
Dart into me like bullets
Your words are breaking me up
They break me up til nothing's left
Let's pull myself together now
And I know how to break the tension
Listen to me yelling now
I'm shouting now, so pay attention

Swimming inside me
Words I wish I could forget
You're not another
Memory I could forget
Forget

Your thoughts caught in a cycle
Caught inside you like a web
You're not trying the way
I tried for you, now nothing's left

I pull myself together now
And I know how to break the tension
Listen to me yelling now
I'm shouting now, so pay attention

Swimming inside me
Words I wish I could forget
You're not another
Memory I could forget
Forget

Your words are breaking me up
Your words are breaking me up
Stabbing through me like bullets
They break me up til there's nothing left
Pull myself together now
Pull myself together now
Pull myself together now
And I know how to break the tension

Swimming inside me
Words I wish I could forget
You're not another
Memory I could forget
Forget

Nothing gained, save me now
Nobody knows, nobody knows
Caught in a cycle
Nothing can save me now
Save me now

Deactivate Facebook?

2011-09-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I'm having a headache just to think about stuff I shouldn't be thinking. Well, I was wondering if I should deactivate my Facebook account 'cause I don't think I'm enjoying myself having one. It's like, I have 300+ friends but less than a hundred only speaks to me once in a while. (I know 300 isn't much, I deleted some already, heh.) Why would I be wasting my time hanging around there? I can blame myself for not being socialised with the outside world. I'm all about sitting at home, mugging for maths O'level and spending Fucking lots of time with Mummy. Gosh, when will I ever grow up?? Or maybe I'm just not good at using Facebook in any other ways. Unlike blogger, even though I know I've been letting out everything here but no one barely knows I existed here. And that's the good thing. Because I know. But knowing that you have 'friends' but not talking then what for? Perhaps real friends will come and find me through my phone..... I don't know.

Second thought, Diana just made a Facebook account. After all these years. Maybe that's good for her, 'cause she met lots of friends in poly. What about me? Maybe I might find some friends too when I finally manage to enter poly? Should I wait 'till next year? But will I really pass? What if I don't?

Okay, I'm gonna make this clear. By 27th September, I swear that I'm not gonna let myself touch the computer neither Sister's Macbook. I'm not going online nor posting anything here until my paper is over. And I swear that I will study real hard after this. So I have exactly 30 days to study.

Oh, good news! A Skylit Drive is finally coming to Singapore! I'm fucking stoked for it \m/ They're coming on 24th February 2012 . That means after O'level results. So, I'm gonna make sure I God damn fucking pass my maths, else I'm not going anywhere and live my life like a sick kid rotting at home.

Today Sister isn't coming back home. Sleep over at a friend's house for some project. Actually, I did some maths paper in the afternoon and there are some questions I don't understand. That's where I need Sister. And with this kind of situation, how am I gonna pass? When I need help, she's not at home. And when she's there, I'm not home. So what's the point? Mummy says Sister will help me but how am I suppose to depend on Sister when all she did was depending on us? Sister is having such a good life, I envy her. I bet you'd found this familiar with some previous post I did.

Have you heard of Mendaki finally said that they allow Chinese Islam to apply? I'm so glad like hell! Mummy told me that perhaps God knows that this year we'll face lots of difficulties especially in financial for Sister's school since she's in third year. God says that this year won't be good for me to go poly because of what we have gone through. And now God have finally allow us to seek help. Alhamdulillah. If God's willing, next year if I pass my paper and manage to enter poly, I won't have to pay much like Sister did. Maybe that's what Allah was doing, helping us and giving a way out. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

By the way, I've got bangs >.< It's been years I haven't had it. So it kinda look different on me. I look totally like a different person. It looks good on the side but weird on the front. Maybe I haven't got used to it.

Lastly, bad news. Look at this.

It wasn't clear enough. What do you expect for a 3.15 Mega pixel camera from an LG pop. Well, this is my 4th earpiece for the year 2011. -.- I can go crazy. Thanks to Tiger. Sometimes I wish I could just strangle him to death but that would be animal abusing. Damn it.

Okay that's it.

Good night.

Hello

2011-09-17T19:18:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I'm finally blogging again. heh. I'm not working anymore. wohoo! And I'm suppose to be studying.. Wohoo.. -.- O'level maths paper will be in 41 days time. so fast sey....

I realise that time do past by so fast. I remember the times I feel so bad about how I started the year 2011. I was really demoralised. Thank god I manage to move on and I think that it wasn't that bad after all. I haven't gone through worse, I thought. With that, I will prove myself that I won't repeat the same mistakes I've did. I don't want to start 2012 as bad as 2011. No way. I had enough. Oh damn, please whoever is reading this pray for me for the best. Wish me good luck. Thanks, appreciate much! :')

Anyway, I had just finished reading Afterlife (Evernight series) by Claudia Gray. It has finally come to an end. But, I wish for more. Yup, I could never bring this up but yes, this is one sensitive part of me that no one knows. If anyone do read Evernight from the start, they might understand how I feel. I melted every time Bianca and Lucas were together and everything they've gone through, wasn't easy. Still, they're forever together, even after death.

I just wonder how people could last long and live happily, relationship from a younger age till they're married and old. How their parents accept their relationship at a young age. How they trust each other so much, nothing could separate them. I could almost forget how it felt to be in love and to be loved. I always thought that i'm still young to think about this. I have to think about my future before thinking about this. I'm 18 the legal age but, am i still young? I don't know. Yes, you can't force yourself to love. I'm not being desperate or whatever shit. I'm just wondering and thinking. These questions were left unanswered. What the fuck.

Anyway, Alesana came to Singapore yesterday!! I didn't went to their concert. :( So sad. My parents need the money more than I do. But still, damn.. I just missed it.

Oh yes, on the last day of work, on Monday (12 September), a new staff was so sweet to me. Her name is Nabilah. I just new her for a few days. I taught her stuff about the job, everything. The sweetest thing is that before I go, she bought me a Doraemon plush. She wanted to buy me anything that relates to cats but couldn't find one. Actually, Doraemon is really something to me. Is not that I like it but I was actually known as Doraemon while working with them because of eating Jollibean almost everyday. Heh. My manager told me Doraemon likes to eat Jollibean. -__- It actually reminds me of the times I've spent working there. Damn, I miss working with the people there. I wouldn't regret meeting them. I wish them the best in life :)

Another thing.. have you seen what happened to my left hand?

I was bitten by Benji (My favourite cat)
Yes, I need to let people know that it wasn't self bruising or whatever you're thinking. I know I did in the past but that was the past. I was actually stopping Benji from trying to have a fight with Chuck. Heh. I got bitten instead. Well, take it as he'd bitten me so, I'm marked. Okay, cut the crap. :P Best advise to people who have crazy cats like Benji, stand by a blanket before stopping them. heh. Well actually I have this thinking that, it's not Benji's fault. Fighting is actually part of a cat's nature. So I guess he just wanted to let out his fighting 'hunger'. True or not, I don't know.

And on the same day itself, I had my Hari Raya outing with the Girls ^^. Opss, almost forgot. Selamat Hari Raya blog :) Thanks for being here with me for years. I can't imagine myself not turning to you even if it's been months I haven 't been here. You know i wouldn't betray you, 'cause you're always the best. XOXO

These are my Girls <3

The Scar, still raw. heh

These are my Family members, there's more actually.

Selamat Hari Raya Everyone!!

Mentioning of raya, I've been wanting to have a raya outing with my 5n2 classmates.. Where are they?? Where have they been? So sad :(

Another thing, Tabby (Pampers) died on the 5th September. Rest in peace my dear. :'( So, I left with 11 cats. hmm.

What else? Okay. Lastly, I don't mind if people really are able to depend on me. Yes, I am dependable but please don't over use me. I hate it so much to the core. Okay Mummy? I'm trying my best to be a good daughter, I don't know if you ever realise that. Just don't over use me. I have my own future to think of. And many other things. Stuff that you might not understand. Just don't over use me, even to those people out there. Thank you very much. Still, I know you'll never know about this, Mummy, 'cause you know nothing about this. Even if you do, you'd think I'm wrong, for sure. Does that make any difference with keeping this to myself than letting it out here? hmm.

Wow, such a long post. When was the last time I did this?

Okay that is it. I'm out.
Seriously, I do miss blogging.

Skylar Grey Invisible New Song 2011 + Lyrics(screen) + Download(descript...

2011-09-07T08:20:00.000+08:00

Bata

2011-08-13T18:05:00.006+08:00

Working mates (First meet up)

Hello blog.

How are you? heh. I know it's been a month i'm lost. Well, there's ups and downs here and there. Lots of stuff happened. Well, let's just leave it as the pass.. Anyway, today is my off day. Duh.. Well, it was suppose to be on Wednesday but since there's a lot that happened, my off will be on Sunday which is tomorrow. But then, if i took off on Sunday, there will be no one doing the opening. So my off day is today. -.-

So far so good? Fasting month is here and it's almost 2 weeks. That's fast. And i will be out from my job in a month! Baik! Can't wait for it!

Well, my work mates and i manage to have a short meet up. Was suppose to be at Geylang but end up at Jurong Point. Better than nothing. Breakfast at Bangla park McDonald's. Walk a round JP and the only thing we're into is Shoes. -.- lol. I suggested to take neoprint so we did. :) Thank God i met some working mates like them :D

Anyway, my shoes are getting worn out and smelly >.< I really need a pair of shoes so badly but i don't know what and which to buy... heh.

I miss POY. I miss my ex-schoolmates, I mis my ex-classmates,I miss my madrasah friend, i miss my NPCC mates. I miss a lot of things :(

Okay that's it. I'm out.

Let me get this straight, do you want me here?

Skelanimals..

2011-07-12T22:26:00.003+08:00

35 bucks Eyes Set To Kill T-shirt.

Today i end work at 9pm. Was suppose to end at 6pm, as usual, but extend till 8pm since there wasn't enough man power. But coincidentally, when i'm about to finish work, it started to crowd. Kelakar eh. -.- There wasn't anyone during the afternoon. Our sales was very bad. Lucky tomorrow is my off day. heh. I walk home from Boon Lay interchange 'cause 243W fucking crowded. -.-'

Anyway, today i served Mastura Ahmad. She so skinny, look a bit aged 'cause of her wrinkles. >.<

Tomorrow, finally.... It's been long since i've spend my time studying.. No more messing around. Please Shafiqa Naafisya, focus on what you want to do for you're future!! Okay.

And guess what. I just knew a few days ago about the Skelanimals they have in Cheers, which i've been craving it for years!! -.- Naafisya so slow... I was wondering how come some people have it when i knew that there was no Skelanimals in Singapore. Damn it. And today was the last day. I want Diego!!!! :'C

Okay, that's it. I'm out.

*My journey back home.. I read our text messages from the first day we text till That day. I smile, i laugh then i frown.. I reached my front door exactly on my last text to you.. :'C

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone

2011-07-11T19:55:00.002+08:00

*I wish i could sing this song for you again.. I miss you...

I wonder how you've been.. It's been almost a month. There isn't any other way for me to know your whereabouts. I wish there is.. :'C

Eyes Set To Kill - The Secrets Between (lyrics)

2011-07-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

*It may be noisy, but read the lyrics.

The Sweet Collision

2011-07-08T19:50:00.006+08:00

Yes! I have finally met Eyes Set To Kill live! This is one of the best moments i ever had! But i was not satisfied cause the crowd was mostly meant for Mayday Parade, not ESTK. So sad. The atmosphere was a bit weird. Well, at least, i have seen and heard them live! Love ESTK to bits!

Quraishah and I bought their Tshirt at 35 bucks. Wow, but i don't mind. I 'll do anything to support them. \m/

I just hope they'll come back. heh.

Next will be Alesana!! Should i go? or not? 16 September, which is a few days after i'm finally not working.. Well.. Long story......
Wait, Paramore on 21 August? It's fasting month.. And i went to see them last year. Hmm...

Anyways...

So yeah, on speech day, i took my Oustanding blah blah.. blah.. Then met some old friends.. God, miss them sooo much. I don't know if they ever missed me? :( And also, imanage to bring back my O'level canvas! Yay! But not my N'level, boo.. Is there such thing as, once it has been hanged on the wall, it becomes the school's property. They should have at least ask me permission cause that's mine. My hard work. Fuck you.

Okay, That's it.
I'm still in 'The Sweet Collision' Mode.
Bye.

Update

2011-06-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

Finally, went to Zoo on 25th with Quraishah and Diana. I get to meet my realatives there.. heh. Next will be Eyes Set To Kill!!!!! 1st July, next wednesday.... And also this friday will be going back to JWSS for speech day, prize presentation.. -.- And no off this week cause i took off on the 25th. Tomorrow will be my first pay and im so gonna head to Popular bookstore first. Buy assesment book. I'm gonna pass my maths no matter what. I have mastered some topics already.. yay.

Okay that's all. I have not much to say. Bye.

-.-

2011-06-20T20:33:00.009+08:00

Basically, my fix working hours now are weekdays, 10 to 6 and weekend full shift, 10 to 10. Off on Wednesdays. So after 6, reach home at 7. Get changed, eat and take a hort nap.. 8.30 to 11pm, i study maths topically.. Seriously, I'm gonna get a topical assessment book with my first pay. I really do wanna pass. I'm not gonna let anyone down, including myself. I have faith in me, even if no one does... 11pm onwards is my free time or i'll just sleep early..

Some may not agree with my current work because it's tiring... But I'll assure myself that i can manage my timing. You know, i'm a reliable person. No matter how much i moan about feeling tired or anything, i will still do it. I will always do my best, to strive for the better.

I missed out Rashidah's birthday, and i really do feel so bad about it. Seriously, didn't mean to. I do owe her much, a lot... What kind of friend am i? wtf.

25th, please hopefully lets go to ZOO.. Insyaallah we'll make it there..

Yesterday i experienced something very random.. A customer came to me and asked for a size 8. There wasn't any 8 so i brought out a 9. So when i took it out, he ask a stupid question, "Are you attached?" -.- I was speechless at first. But then, i answered "I'm single and not available."

His reaction was like, so.. boleh kenal kenal? I ignore his question and asked about the size 9. He said he don't have to try and he'll just take. WTF. It's $59 and he paid $100. -.-
It's not that i think his rich. I think that his just desperate. First impression last. Never ask anyone about their status first. Stupid.

Okay that's it. I don't really have the mood to say much but i just have to let out some things..
Bye.

*It took me years to get over the pass... How many more years will it take to get over this situation.. This shows how loyal i am.. And yes, all i need is Patience, Trust and Believe..

Work liao..

2011-06-08T19:19:00.003+08:00

hello hello hellooo..

Been loooong.
heh

Well actually i've already started working for nine days and today is my off day. yeaah... I'm working with the same company but different place. For those who know, shhhh... But this time, i'm working full time and i think it's kinda worth it. If i really hit the sales target everyday.. Commission gonna be high! wohoo!. Working full time was quite tiring but as soon as i get used to it, everything will be okay. Everyday, start at 10am to 6/8pm. Went back home, another 2 hours of studying maths. Every off day, Mummy wants me to spent those time studying. -.- But i'll try my best to really improve my maths and hopefully she'll allow me to have some time to hang out with others!!. I'll do my best!! :) I'm so gonna pass my maths this time. urgh! But i still need help cause Sister has been busy with her FYP and couldn't help me out in maths.. i really do need help. :( So what if practice makes perfect if i don't understand how to do?? -.-

Oh yeah.. Am i getting fairer? A lot of people thinks that i'm chinese. -.- If only i can speak chinese.. Duìbùqǐ. Wǒ bú huì shuō zhōngwén. heh

Okay thats it. Gonna continue practicing on what i know in maths......
I'm out!

We're busy with our everyday life but i know deep in our hearts, we're missing each other ;)
wǒ xiǎng nǐ ...

Headlight Disco

2011-05-22T14:01:00.000+08:00

Damn, this was one of my best memories! I remembered that day i was in Sec2 and i skipped NPCC. hehehe Not everybody knows. Shh! I was standing at the right side of their stage, near to the keyboardist. Miss it!

Today

2011-05-20T22:14:00.003+08:00

Hello

I'm emotionless. So.. Yeah..

Today morning, I've made my way back to JWSS to take my O'level certificate. At first, i wouldn't want to go back there because i don't want anybody to see me especially the teachers and my CCA. I'm sorry but i don't want anybody to question me about what I'm going through. It's embarrassing. -.- But still, i need the certificate for job interviews. So, since today the school is having Cross country, there won't be any students or teachers around. When i receive it from the school office, i opened and read my testimonial. People would be very impress of me after reading my testimonial. Such a bright student. But when it comes to academic wise..... So sad. :'( I admit, i am very very disappointed with myself.

After taking the certificate, i walk back home from school. It feels so good to be walking back home from school again. I miss walking to school every morning.. Catching up with the traffic, timing and Quraishah. Heh.

Went back home, get changed. Went for religious lecture at Asyakirin, as usual.. Every Friday. Went to cousin's house for awhile and back home.
That's all.

Oh yeah, this is just random.. In January, my weight was 48kg. After a month, i weighed 47. Now i'm 46kg. I didn't exercise for so long and i'm losing weight. ?? Okay that's all. Bye.

*I know it's hard to believe me anymore.. But sill, i'm always sincere.

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble (Lyrics & Download)

2011-05-15T14:40:00.000+08:00

Good Morning.

2011-05-09T09:09:00.007+08:00

Morning.

I woke up at 6am today and still awake. I don't know why i feel good..... After bathing, prayed, cleaned my table, my room, search for job and now i'm here before i switch off the computer. Gonna study maths later.. Wohoo.

Talking about Mummy, yesterday was mother's day. I don't really, you know... post at FB and stuff saying Happy Mother's Day!! And go all excited about it. I have the weirdest relationship between me and Mummy. I don't hug Mummy and take pictures, acting cute and stuff. Like any other girls would do. I just don't know why. I don't act cheesy at all.

Well, atleast we manage to have seafood for dinner yesterday. Mummy has been asking for it for weeks. At first, we planed to eat at Pizza hut with the Mother's day sepcial that they're having. Reached Lot 1 at 9pm. When we started to queue, me and Sister have the bad feeling that they're about to close. A few minutes later, the waitress told us that they're closing and only those who had made reservation are allowed. -.- After that, dad bought his working shoe at BATA and i bought my purple shoe lace at Bluez! YAY.

We ended up eating at Makan Shiok at old Jurong West. I ate half of my rice and already full. -.- Seriously, whoever is gonna date me in future, never bring me for a dinner date. Don't waste your money on food for me. I'm not a big eater.

My family will always face the same problem when we're out together. Daddy will not stop talking or commenting about any other thing. Mummy will refuse to go and make the orders and she will merajuk like a small kid. Me and Sister will get irritated by them, as always.

After eating, we head back home. Before that, we found this cat sleeping on top of Daddy's car. Like, of all cars... After playing around with the cat, he ran to a near by tree and positioned himself like what you'd see in the picture. Cute or what??!

So, yeah.. On our way back home, saw the guys walking back home from Pioneer Mall McDonald!! Ah!! I got excited when i saw them! I miss them like shit sey. When i told my parents i saw my friends, they weren't really happy about it. They keep saying, " Why would you waste your time with them? You're not even schooling and you're suppose to be studying. You're way back behind them! And your are a girl!"

And guess what, the guys majority are in ITE -.- My reply "How could i not miss them if they have been my schoolmate for years, even since primary school. What's more? I was the only malay girl in class last year and there they are, always there for me..!!!!!!" _|_

Okay lah, i didnt show my finger to them.. heh. But seriously.... Is it wrong to be friends with guys?! What!? Thnk i would flirt? No time sey for all this.. The guys know i'm not like that. And for sure, i am very sure about it. Okay. Shut up. -.-

You know what, I think i moved on quite well huh? No matter what, running away from the world isn't gonna solve these problems. I was born to live in this world. Hmm.. But still jobless.. haha!

Anyway, I manage to book ESTK and Mayday Parade tickets just now! Lucky i sent them an email before they announce the pre-sale price is sold out!! WOHOO!! SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it. I'm out!

I shouldn't be feeling this way, or should i?

0.0

2011-05-06T19:19:00.004+08:00

Another typical day..

So bored -.-

Woke up early today, 11.30am. That's early to me. heh.

Anyway, my old classmates called me just now to hang out with them, have dinner and stuff. It's sad that i'm tired and decided not to go with them. I just came back home with Mummy. :( Seriously, i miss them damn much! Especially those times when we watch World cup together, do English project, Teacher's Day performance, PE. Also, looking at you guys, messing around the class. haha!! Aww man.................. :( Please have a class outing for once!!!!!!!

Jobless...

k bye.

Animal Farm

2011-05-02T16:29:00.002+08:00

Today i woke up super early. Only 3 hours of sleep. Had breakfast with family at Animal Farm, i think. Yup, i manage to see birds, chicken, rabbit, turtles, hamsters, mice, guinea pig, fishes, and feed goats! Yay! After so long...... Seriously, someone please bring me to the ZOO. I miss my animal friends. heh.

Anyway, i'm still jobless..................................

Okay, bye.

I hate being forgotten, seriously.

Family Night

2011-05-02T03:48:00.004+08:00

Yes, Finally.

My family and i manage to have a short family night out. Went for dinner at West Coast. As usual, Mutton Chop. But i still can't handle the spicy-ness, which makes me wanna cry. -.- It hit's me through my throat and all the way to my head. It makes my head spin. O.O

Actually we wanted to go somewhere further. We manage to pass by Marina Bay, since Mummy haven't seen it before. Suddenly, the car was 'unhealthy' (I don't know what was happening, actually). We have to make a U-turn :(

So, after eating, went to NTUC at Clementi and shop for groceries. Before that, sister and me saw a weighing machine, the one that you have to put in 20 cents to make it work. It was our favourite since we were young. And, I weigh 46.8kg (even after eating) and 160cm tall. They said my ideal wheight should be 54.9kg. -.- Also, they mentioned these..

Business : Today you will be a success in everything you do without any effort ( Seriously? )
Love : Be ruled by your insticnts, they will not let you down. (I shall follow my insticts from now onwards)
Health : Work has tired you. At all cost have a good holiday ( Yes ah!, I really need a Getaway!! But what work have i done? Haha.)

Abundance like privation can keep friends apart (Cowley)A phrase was written also and i do not understand a single thing about it. hmm..

So, after buying some stuff, we head back home. Yup, i'm still awake.

There are some changes happening in my family. Daddy is no more working at 5pm to 5am. He's starting work at 9.30pm till 5am due to the change of taxi hirer. The previous one had an accident so there's no chances of bringing the same taxi and Daddy have to find a new hirer. And also he'll be working weekdays only. Damn. So.. yeah.

Okay, that's it. bye.

I'm not gonna smile unless you did.
And i mean it! :(

Officially Eighteen

2011-04-30T17:31:00.003+08:00

H E L L - O

i'M OFFICAILLY 18 !!

Yeah, and i'm at home doing nothing -.-. Life. Sister and Mummy asked me, what i'm doing on my birthday? I should have told then i'd love to sleep all day since there's nothing i'm gonna do. Mummy asked me, "not going out?". Well, no one asked me out. -.- Okay, shut up.

Well yesterday, i went to Innova JC to support a friend of mine for her concert with some of my friends. And, yeah.. Thanks for the surprise though. heh. I'm sorry i wasn't feeling excited about it. ..........................

Anyway, does anyboy knows where to get a pair of Purple Shoe Lace?! I need them badly!!

Okay, OUT.

GIGS

2011-04-21T20:36:00.004+08:00

Seriously, i'm fucking dead to go to their gig but it's sad that i have no friends to go with me. :( Eyes Set To Kill will be coming down to Singapore on 6th July with Mayday Parade, tickets are still not out yet. Alesana Will be on 16th September and their tickets are fast selling. Tsk. Seriously, i need to be socialised. How?! -.-

Hearts them to bits.

FML

2011-04-21T00:42:00.004+08:00

It's been long i've last updated.
Just a short draft of what has been going on with my fucked up life.

This is a tribute to Sassy's death.
Yes, she died on 15th April, 12.25am. After 5 years being with us. She was so sick and refused to eat. If only we could use Medisave for Vet.. These 5 years was too long, it was hard to get over her. Everyday, going in into Mummy's bathroom reminds me of her. Sassy used to sleep in Mummy's bedroom and whenever we lie on the bed, she will come to our side and massage our stomach. :'( How can i ever forget that? Mummy's bedroom reminds me of her. If only we could demolish Mummy's room... Okay, I'm not gonna brag about this.

I'm still searching for jobs. -.-

FML.

fUCK.

2011-04-08T23:44:00.007+08:00

RP'S 4th round for DAE was unsuccessfull. So how? In the previous post i mentioned that i'm gonna work. Guess what, when i receive an interview, Mummy don't allow me to go cause we havent receive the DAE result. And now, i feel so wasted. Now, Mummy still want me to try speak to the RP's principal. Seriously, i am already freaking tired of this crap. People are pushing me. But, do i have a choice? Oh God, why is my 2011 isn't as good as others? What is it that you really want me to do? Am not blaming anyone but these questions are left unanswered. First, she wants me to work. Then now, go beg the school. If one day, i were to be successful, I dont give a damn on people begging on me. When i was having a hard time, no one wants me. Mummy keeps on nagging. Mummy said when i was in school, i was busy helping others. NPCC, Art, school work, voluntery work like YOG. The conscientious girl in class, the bright student, NE award, Best Unit Cadet. And now, non of this are helping me. If only i really do have a choice, i dont want to continue living. I'm in no use to live. Right? URGH!

Anyway, another tragedy happened.
The reason last week my family was broke because Daddy was sick for a week. Kinda weird right? This had never happen before. Coincidentally, i was listening to MJ 12 at Ria.fm. KC was talking about the symptoms of being possesed.
- fever for a week
- lazyness
- migranes
- try to avoid God
- always feeling tired
Dad was having these symptoms. O.O

I told mummy about it and we prayed, hopefully not. After a few days, Daddy's fever was getting worse. We went to a Polyclinic and they were shock for his long term fever.

Few days later, we went to my aunt's house. My cousin was afraid of looking at Daddy cause his face seemed to be a little dark and skinny. His eyes was very red. The weird thing is, Daddy hasn't been eating for days and how can he not feel hungry? So, we decided to try to visit somebody who knows about these kind of stuff.

We arrive at the person's house before midnight. When the person begin to massage Daddy, i saw his expression. Daddy was frowning, the person felt the heavyness. I try to look away. When it was done, the person told us that Daddy was being marked by the Pretty lady in white with long hair. O.O

Daddy's eyes was no more red. And he was speaking normally. He suddenly starts to yawn and feel hungry. Daddy told me that he will always go to NTU and park his taxi under a big tree to take a nap or wait for taxi calls. So, this had caused daddy to be sick and not being able to drive the taxi to earn some money.

Syukur alhamdullilah, Daddy is healthy now.

Final decision

2011-04-04T07:19:00.004+08:00

Finally, the decision has been made.
Since my DAE was unsuccessfull, my family and I have decided that I will officially start working as full-time.
Also, I will be retaking my O'level Maths at the same as a private candidate.
I know there will be some questions for me. Thus, i will clear your doubts below.

Why not Higher nitec / ITE ?
- Basically, i am retaking my maths. So if i were to pass my Maths while studying at Higher nitec / ITE , I could have a chance to enter Poly already. Thus, i ended up wasting my time a year in Higher nitec / ITE when i could have used the time to earn myself some cash. Make sense?

Why not NAFA / Private school?
- My family and I are facing some financial difficulties. Even having PSEA , it could only afford to help me the most by paying my school fees for less than a year in NAFA / Private school. Mendaki? No use, we've been asking them for help for years and still their answer would be the same. Just because I'm Chinese. -.- Mendaki only accept Muslim (Malay, Javanese, Boyanese, Bugis). Even having FAS would not help our financial difficulties. That bad. Non of us have bank savings. Another thing is, my family does not have CPF. And my dad is a Taxi driver, the only breadwinner. Try to understand.

What happen to me?
- I'll be working. I am still searching for jobs. My life would be different then. I thought of going MIA. Some people might still hoping to meet me, i'm so sorry cause i couldn't keep that promise.
When Poly school starts, everyone would be busy by then. Even those in Secondary school would be mugging on ther Mid-year and MT O'level in June/May. I don't want people to think about me anymore cause there is no use. It can't change the situation. I have to accept the fate given by God. There might be reasons behind this. But i am still slowly getting over it. Hope you guys understand, for those who cared to read this.

Meeting me?
-Try not to. Like i've said, I'm gonna be MIA. The only way to keep in track with my life is here and my Tumblr. And maybe by texting, which sometimes i didn't reply. heh. Sorry about that.

What else?

Well i hope this is enough to clear you doubts. I do appreciate for your understanding.
If there are some questions, do comment.
By the way, RP is having a 4th round DAE.
I applied for it but i am now ready to face both consequences.
You know what i mean.
No high hopes, just Tawakal.

I wish the very best for those going to start their school in Mid April.
Also for those studying for Mid-Year and Cambridge exams.
Good Luck!

That's all i have for now.
TC.

Tumblr!

2011-04-02T00:24:00.002+08:00

I have officially sign up for Tumblr!
Don't worry, i won't abandon my Blogger.
I'll update when i have lots to share.
I'll probably update my Tumblr everyday.
So do take note, and check it out!

That's all for now!

Meet Lola \m/

2011-03-21T00:51:00.002+08:00

RP's DAE application round 3.

2011-03-17T20:32:00.003+08:00

Guess what, i was all worried about receiving the MP's reply.
'Cause till now, there's still no reply.
So i have to make a quick decision on where to go.

I woke up, first thing i do was to check out RP's website.
And i saw DAE application was still open.
There's a round 3.
And this time, i finally could apply online!
And i could actually apply for the design courses.
So this means that, no BCA Academy and NAFA.
Now pray hard that this DAE will be finally successful.

I'm gonna try my very best to do anything to enter RP.
I'm still deciding on wether to send an email to the Director of School of Technology of the Arts, in RP.
I want to send my portfolio there.
Maybe that could increase the chance for me to enter a design course.
But i dont know how should i start.

Anyway, it's kinda weird that i woke up and suddenly have the urge to check out RP.
Mummy said that was a sign from Allah that have given me a chance to enter RP.
Syukur Alhamdullilah!
Amin.

So right now, Tawakal aja lah.
Adios!

I can't wait for the day i could stop complaing about my life.

2011-03-15T00:17:00.005+08:00

It seems like you're being so useful.
I've been blogging regularly.
Not bad.

That's just because i've been complaining about my life.

Again, i went to my cousin's house.
At first, everything was fine.
But when Mummy start's to open her mouth, here we go again.
I seriously hate it when Mummy said this..
"Actually, Naafisya is fed up with her sister because Naazira barely do the stuff that i told her to do. And because of that, I will always ask Naafisya to do everything. Naafisya will complaint to me that why do i always call her, it's because Naazira had made a lot of sins to me. I pity Naazira so i won't call her to create more sins."
-.-

Mummy pity Naazira more than me. -.-
So, what am i?
Full-time maid?

Urgh, seriously.
I can't wait for the day i could stop complaining about my life.
Seriously.

U-turn

2011-03-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

Firstly, i don't know what to feel right now.
I have mix-emotions.

I have just receive a good news from a friend of mine that she finally manage to secure a course in RP.
I'm really glad about it.
However, i fell a little sad.
My heart skipped a beat.
Cause now, i'm all alone.
.............

I just can't wait for this to end.
I'm so afraid right now.
I'm afraid of my own future.

And by the way, Sister is out to have Piza Hut for dinner with her friends.
-.-
And i'm gonna starve at home, waiting for Mummy to cook.
-.-

"Oh Allah, You are the only one that could create miracles.
Please Allah, you know what is best for me.
And for You, i will accept everything that you give to me and i appreciate it a lot.
Thank You Allah"

"In the name of Allah the Most Merciful, And Compasionate Allah.
Amin."

BCA Academy

2011-03-13T01:17:00.006+08:00

Earlier on, i receive a letter from BCA Academy.
I know, i never heard of that too.
I didn't know it even existed.

Basically, it is an academy that provides diploma courses too.
However, they are more focus in building industries,
The requirements are just English 1-7, Maths 1-6, one other subject 1-6.
There's a test to take for those who could not meet the requirement for English and Maths.
The fees rage from $2300-$3300 per year, depends on course.

Hmm.
This is something i should try to look at.
The application ends next week.
I do need time to think too.
There will be some pros and cons.

However, i havent receive any letter from the MP.
I met the MP almost 4 weeks ago and up till now, i hevent receive a reply.
I shall wait for another week and we'll see how it goes...

Out.

Hachiko.

2011-03-12T01:36:00.008+08:00

The next day after the previous post, i asked Mummy if i'm allowed to go out with my friends.And i actually regret doing it.Mummy suddenly screamed at me."For what do you have to go out with your friends? You can go out with me right? At most you will be going out eating and shopping. You can do that by going out with me right? Are you trying to say that you don't like going out with me?"

-.-

Seriously, it's not like i went out with my friends everyday right? I don't even get to see them for a month! Is going out with them, a sin?

The best part is this. Mummy continued.."Since you think that your un-useful friends are more important, then i won't help you even if you ask me to go sign up for any school. Don't ask me to follow you go anywhere. I also don't need your help. I can go to the market myself. I don't need you. Since you prioritise your friends first then me."

Baik per..

Seriously, i went all silent for the whole day. I know that my mum can't survive without me. She end up asking me to help her do some chores. I did everything without a sound.

She might forget what had happened but her words are like a recording tape that was stuck in my mind. So tell me, how should i feel right now?

Anyway, yesterday i watched a heart touching movie.

This is the movie i watched. Obviously i cried watching this. T.T

This is the real Hachiko. Damn cute.

This is Hachiko's statue at Shibuya Station, Japan.

This is where he wait for his owner everyday to come back.

How sad :(

Oh yes, an 8.9 magnitude earthquake hit Northern Japan today, triggering tsunami that sent a wave filled with boats and houses toward land. I pray that god bless Japan. I really hope that the statue is fine. Give me a chance to take a photo with it when i have a chance to in future.

Amin.

Getaway.

2011-03-08T01:14:00.004+08:00

Hello.

I don't quite have the mood here to post again but i really really need to let this out.

Yes, i am still not posted to any school at all. I'm just gonna Tawakal.n And let Allah lead the path way of my life.

So what made me come here is that, i really feel so lonely. Lifeless.

I went to my cousin's house with my family. And Mummy start to boast about Sister. "She's going to China with her school mate soon for her final year project. And she's going to Seatle for her Intern. Isn't that good? And blah blah blah blah blah..." It goes on for more than an hour.

To be honest, i felt ashame of myself. Cause Mummy couldn't say anything good about me. T.T

And Mummy boast about how Sister didn't really care about her clothes. Trying to say that Mummy didn't really spend much money on her. Also about Sister having big dreams and stuff. It's not like i wanted them to spend much on me. Okay fine, i did spend an extra year in secondary school and had my Nlevels. I bought more clothes than Sister, at least i dressed well. Not as rugged as Sister.I always have big dreams but non of them came true.

For goodness sake, i work during the holidays before i got my Nlevel result and spend that money on my books for sec5. I work during this early January and still manage to save 400 bucks till now. And Sister never really work in her whole life. Am i really a burden? Am i that good for nothing that i am that stupid? Seriously, i spend hours at my cousin's house keeping quiet, being invisble.

Also, Sister just had her Night cycling with her friends from ECP to Changi. Sister manage to have overnights during her friends Chalet. She went to town, watch movies.

And i've been spending almost 2 months at home, being Mummy's assistant.Am i really a burden?? T.T

Sometimes i wonder, i know there some people out there faced the same thing like i did. Being the younger sister isn't really a good thing after all. And one more thing. Since Sister is going overseas, who's gonna wake her up when i'm the one who always did? Am i really really a burden? T.T

Serioulsy, i think i need some space away from home.

I need a Getaway.

I'm Out.

That's it.

2011-02-08T20:39:00.002+08:00

Been long,.. i know..

I've tried to post 3 times but i couldn't think of what to write.

Basically, my 2011 isn't going well. I was not in a good mood for almost a month. Nothing amazed me at all.

Non of my poly JAE was successful. My appeal went out of line. I couldn't log in! T.T

And the best thing is... some people around me are treating me transparent-ly. All this while, They didn't really care about my well beings. I was in misery and They woudn't care to even help me out.What kind of ...... is that? They use to say, we shall enter poly together. WTF? Seriously, i can't take this any longer....!!!!!!!! They didn't even text me or even ask me a single thing about it. T.T

Don't blame me if we're getting further apart.
I'm out.

Busy Busy Busy

2011-01-20T21:30:00.004+08:00

Hello Blog!
Firstly, Happy new year!!

I know it's been almost a month already. I was told to work on the 2 Jan at Quraishah's aunt place, again. For 2-3 weeks.

I celebrate the new year with cousin, Amira and family.

Went to NYP jam. I'm really happy for Nurin. Better than nothing, at least you won something girl. :)

The next two days, manage to go out with POY, finally. haha

And yes, i've got my olevel results liao.Quite disappointing but at least i'm still able to go to poly.Well, hopefully. I got 27 points. English C5, Maths D7, Science D7, Humanities C5, Art B3, Malay C6. That bad. hmm.

Well, JAE application ended last friday. But least Friday I went for DAE at NYP, MGDB course. It was so very last minute. Thankfully i manage to hand it my portfolio.

On last Saturday, POY celebrated Diana's belated birthday. Finally, she's 18! Can buy for me cigar (pergi mampos!) lol.

So.. that's it.

Actually, I miss school so fucking damn much! I miss JWSS, classmates, teachers.. I miss doing ART. I miss stressing up myself. Haha! I miss doing sports also. P.E. 2.4km!

Tsk, everything's changing...

I don't like it. :(

TC blog while i'm busy.....

Oh, it's 30th already!

2010-12-30T14:37:00.006+08:00

First of all, finally i'm rotting at home again! -.- I've been out from home since the Family BBQ at Bukit Batok, last Saturday. Sunday, went to Causeway Point. (Accompany Mummy with aunts) Monday, watch Hello Stranger with Quraishah at ViVo. Tuesday, went to the market (With Mummy) Wednesday, went to Jurong Point (With Mummy again.)

I guess i was born to be my mother's assistant. It's not like i didn't want to or i'm a bad kid who doesn't cares. But seriously, i'm a teenager. Almost 18. I need a Life, for goodness sake.

It's not like everyday i went out with my friends. But it seems like, there's always green light for Sister. And i'm always having the Yellow light. But it's always me, who needs to sacrifice. And no one seems to realise. Well again, welcome to my life.

Tomorrow's 31st. It's almost 2011. That was fast, really. In weeks time, results are coming out. So what's my new year resolution? No idea.

Hmm. I should really thank you blog for being with me for almost 3 to 4 years? And on going. Thanks a lot. Well, this is the reason why i wouldn't want to have a new blog like tumblr, twitter, what so ever. There's always me and you, you and me. Love ya.

Thats's it.

[Eng] [HD] กวน มึน โฮ Hello Stranger Official International Trailer GTH ...

2010-12-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hourglass

2010-12-25T00:54:00.002+08:00

Its exactly ten days...

Things happened but i'm lazy to say.

So i'll just mention the current ones.

I've heard good results for N'level from some friends. Congrats!And also to cousin, Amira :) Talking about results, it's gonna be our turn next. O'level results! Gosh.. what if i didn't make it? That's what i hope its not going to be my option. Oh please God. I just hope i passed, points doesn't seem to matter to me anymore.

And yes, I'm still jobless. And i'm still sleeping at 4am and waking up at 2pm. Sometimes 3pm. I just waste half of my day sleeping. Such a waste. Sometimes i wonder. What have i been doing.. Well, at least now i'm currently reading Hourglass (Evernight series) by Claudia Gray. Yes! I'm finally reading! After such a very long time not reading. Actually, i left 2 pages left. heh.

Also i do wonder..I have hundreds of friends on Facebook. But i'm spending my holidays with the ones that i know. Well, barely spending. Gosh, i really need Real Friends. Or else i'm gonna be an introvert. Or am i already?

Anyway.. Later afternoon, like finally! We're gonna have a family BBQ! Planned by Sister and me of course. I hope it's gonna work. And I can play with charcoal again!

That's it. I'm out

*Feels like changing my name and put on my headphones 24/7 so that nothing could bother me and i won't feel hurt.

Eagles Award :)

2010-12-14T23:35:00.003+08:00

Just wanna update on a small achievement i just received.
I received a mail that i've got an Eagles award from school.
Wohoo!

Even when i received an Eagles award, my parents don't give a thing about it.
For goodness sake, Sister had never receive this award before in her life.
I received once when i was in primary 6.
It means a lot to me because this shows that i'm actually reliable to the school.
I didn't waste my time in school.
I did something good.
At least i should be appreciated.

Oh well, this is my life.

Anyway, there are some updates on the school's dinner and dance.
It won't be held in school but in RP.
-.-
I just hope it's gonna be great..
At least...

Okay, that's it.

i'm out.

*Your desperation is killing me!
And i really mean it!

Working with Key Orient.

2010-12-06T14:53:00.012+08:00

Hello.

I'm back after a busy week.

Last Tuesday, had a busy day with NPCC. Amazing Race in Sentosa and Unit BBQ in JWSS the whole day. I had damn lots of fun. It does bring back some memories.. Good and bad times.. And during the Amazing Race, i was called for a final interview!! Finally! It was suppose to be on Thursday.

So on Wednesday morning, Quraishah texted me saying that her aunt temporarily wants to hire me. Baik per, who doesn't want it??? It was quite sudden because i had a full day out the day before and i have to work in the morning till night. So what i did in work was arranging books to sell the next day.. The arranging part was damn tiring. I went back home with cramps almost everywhere.

On Thursday morning, i woke up feeling super tired and painful because of these stupid cramps. I wasn't ready for the job interview that i was offered before hand. I walk around like a robot. I can't straightened my joints. Muscle Cramps! I was glad that i was early for the interview. First person to arrive. Heh. I really need time to walk around, due to the stupid cramps..... So, when everyone was there, it seems like i was the only one wearing a simple dress. Everyone was wearing covered heels and big earings and make up and totally casual office wear. And they were all same age as mine... I was the first to be interviewed. I have no cofidence, due to my muscle cramps and sore throat and slight flu. I also think i do look sloppy. And i seriouly hate it when they have to say and ask, " Oh, i see that your race is actually chinese. So can youspeak Mandarin? Any dialects? How come your father's name is different?" Too much to say.. wtf!

Anyway, after the interview, i bought a birthday cake for Daddy. And guess what, what i get was " For what you buy? Later i still have to throw all the candles right?" Daddy said. WTF.

On Friday, work again with Quraishah's aunt. This time helping them sell their books.. Blah blah blah.. At 3, my work was done but Quraishah wants me to follow her to her aunt's office. After that went out with them.. blah blah blah..

On Saturday, last day to work with them. This time i work in a different mosque to help them order their madrasah uniform. I work with Quraishah's cousin, Abang Ari, and another two girls. The funny thing is, i seriously thought those two girls was older that me. When Cik Ani ask for their age, one was 15 and the other was 16. Baik kaper??
And they called me Kakak.. paisey kaper?! It was super boring.. we waited from 9am to 2pm and there were only 20+ people who ordered. -.- Oh yes, Abang Ari will always remember this.. "You look very familliar.." Haha. After work, head back home... Blah blah blah.. Went out back to meet Quraishah for some plans.. shhh... And yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURINDAH!

Finally yesterday, which was Sunday, i went out with Mummy to geylang. I wanted to buy a dress at City plaza or City link.. whatever the name is.. As we were about to head there from Paya Lebar MRT, i realise that there was alot of indonesion and bangla people. No offence.. And to my dissmay, the place that i wanted to go was pack with these people and there were loud dangdut music being played. Some of the people was actually dancing.. I was fucking irritated. I cant stand being surrounded with these kind of people. OMG. I told Mummy not to speak in malay with me, speak english. To differenciate us from those Irritating Indons. Another incident is when i was walking around This Fashion shop. I notice a Bangla was looking at me but i heck care about it. But then i realise that he seems to follow me everywhere i go. I mean like, come on lah.. why would a Bangla want to shop in a ladies boutique?? CB. I quickly walk away and stick with my mother.

After shopping, went back to JP and then went back home...

So today stayed home, feeling bored like hell! I search for chokers in the net cause i wanted to wear it during dinner and dance night. As i was searching for chokers in the net.. i found this..

Lawa per!!!! Love at first sight!!.. ahh!
If only i could ever own this!

That's it. I'm out.

Feels like a loner

2010-11-29T02:06:00.003+08:00

Well well well..
Looks like this year JWSS won't be having a prom but will have a music and dance night. I think this idea is better than having a prom. Prom is too complicating and people are expecting many things to happen in prom while the other is just music and dance.. Yeah. And party!!

I feel like a loner..With no life. Gosh, what am I?

Everyday seems like the same old routine. My day starts at 12pm.. Watch TV, surf the net, listening to music, reading books, eat and sleep. Okay fine, i only bathe went i have to go out. It means, save the earth. Don't waste water when you don't REALLY need it. LOLS! Wtf.

I miss swimming, running, jogging, playing badminton, carom, karaoke, basketball, cycling, Kayaking, camping, rock climbing.....

Damn. Something is wrong with my life.

Nights.

Naafisya, are you sure what you are doing is right?
Promise I'm not gonna break another's heart.
But why does all of them seem the same?

Mundane Holidays

2010-11-28T01:26:00.003+08:00

What a life.

Those two interview that i went didn't gave me hope.I got rejected for the first one just becasue i didn't have the O'Level letter from school. The other one, still havent receive any calls. Sabar aje lah.. Maybe it's just not my luck.
Haiyar...

You know, the reason why i wanted to work so badly is because i want to save money to buy my Very Own laptop for school next year.. Hopefully for Poly. I want to save my parent's burden. I have to train myself to be independent. At the same time, if i have my own laptop paid with my own money, my parents won't think that i took their money for granted. I don't want that to happened.

Of course.. Another reason is because to enjoy the holiday.. And yes, my mundane holidays.... Oh well. What happened to all my friends? Everyone seems busy. And i'm just rotting at home.. What a life.

Good night.

Today is the day i will have to face one of my biggest fear.
Let it out, and promise i won't regret.

Thank God!

2010-11-23T15:16:00.002+08:00

Yes yes! Even F1 drivers will Sujud Syukur when they win. That's what i did because it was as if God answered my prayers. Yes, i moaned all the time just because i have sent 20 resume but none replied. But finally, i was awaken by a phone call.. for a job interview!! And also, in the afternoon, i recieved another job interview!!
2 interviews! Yes ah!! Syukur Alhamdulillah
Wish me luck!

Oh yes.. I am super overjoyed!
^^

Jobless

2010-11-23T02:28:00.003+08:00

Hi there! I found this picture that suits my situation now. Yup, i'm jobless.. Hell yeah! O levels are done, finally!... And i'm back.. Finally!

So it's been a week i've been jobless, and i don't like it. Cause i need money to enjoy my holiday. I didn't get paid for staying at home 24hrs. (-.-) + !($).($)! And.. I'm freakin' bored! There's nothing much i could do.. If only i have a PSP, Wii, Xbox, GameBoy.. what ever you name it.... -.- When it comes to entertainment with IT, i'm such a loser.

Oh yar.. Just to update on whats been going on.. Believe it or not, JWSS prom night proposal had been changing for 3 times.. For just a simple Prom Night? Look how choosey people nowadays.. They just want things to be perfect. But they forget about the little details and the aftermath. Must always be specific, don't cheat by not telling people the truth. It is very important for everyone to be foward looking in order to succeed. Okay, WTH. I'm being so politic here, damn.

I really think that i'm in my own world. I don't want to be an introvet!

Off to bed.

zzzZZZZzzzz....

Mistakes (essay)

2010-11-22T10:59:00.005+08:00

Grace lived in a three room flat with her parents. However, she felt that she was living all by herself in that small apartment. Her family faced financial breakdown ever since was being sacked by his company for some reason. At the same time, her parents lost a huge sum of money on gambling. Since then, she decided to get a part-time job so as lighten the financial burden of her parents.

The family condition worsened over time. Her parents were busy with gambling and even demanded money from her. People around her were avoiding her and kept talking about her parents' behaviour. She tried seeking help from teachers in school. Some were too busy while others just brushed her off. She had no one to turn to at the darkest moment of her life.

Unable to withstand the challenges in life anymore, she decided to give up and made a choice to run away from the problems she was facing. It was the only solution that she could think of. As she slowly ajar the window open, tears rolled down her cheek. She felt icy shivers of anxiety over the choice she had made. At the sixth floor, facing her bedroom for the last time, Grace lifted her feet away from the window grills. For the first time in her life. She was up on the air for seconds. However, she felt a sudden rush of pain as she landed onto the stiff ground for a moment and everything became numbed.

To her dismay, Grace eyes were still opened but could hardly feel anything neither could she move. A young lady suddenly came into her vision but could barely hear the sound of the surroundings. Slowly, her vision blurred and her world was dark.

Grace was awoken by the touch of a frozen hand. When she slowly opened her eyes, she found herself facing a white ceiling. there were tubes attached on her hands and a machine was placed beside her. She gripped the frozen hand and look at it, it was her mum. Her eyes were puffy like the eyes of the goldfish. Grace was relieved to see her mum and gave her a faint smile. Apparently, Grace hit a tree before she fell to the ground. This tree saved her life.

However, something was not right. She felt so numb on the abdomen of her body. She was paralysed. She broke out in tears uncontrollably. When she recalled what had happened, she realised that she had made a grave mistake. Being able to stay alive as a paralysed person is worse than dying.

After the incident, Grace's parents realised that they had made too many mistakes in life that caused their daughter to be disheartened. They regretted what they had done and turned over a new life thereafter. From then, they gave Grace all the attention she needs and this brought the bonding of the family to a higher level despite the misfortune.

Menyelewengs?

2010-09-25T02:25:00.003+08:00

Bringing back some good news and more bad news....

Firstly, we'll talk about the bad news.. I failed almost every subject... badly. And, this might be the last post till my O's are done. So the good news is.. i passed my English with unexpected grades!! From D7 to C5! And Art paper1 is done!

Anyway, last Wednesday, i skipped intensive class and went out for Hari Raya outing with my classmates. Though i was the only malay girl in the class.......
I still had fun. heh

Okay. That's it.
-.- zzzzZZZZZZ.........

*One shocking moment that happened.
I could hardly believe it happened but..
I already thought it was over.......
WTH.
Paisey or what?!...

Sacrifice (essay)

2010-09-25T00:57:00.003+08:00

I was born with a hole in my heart, an illness that could never be cured. Within these sixteen years, Ihave been through major surgeries for several times. It was never eay but life must move on. Right after the previous surgery,i had been going through treatments and every 6 months. However, after what had happend, i will not have to come back for treatments anymore.

With a hole in my heart, I have to maintain a proper diet and a healthy lifestyle to ensure that my heart would not deteoriate. At the same time, I should take good care of my emotions and feelings so that it would not affect my health as well.

Unfortunately, during the past few months, I failed to take good care of my own health. It started to take place when Mum met with a car accident. She was in a very bad condition when her legs were forced to be amputated. This has caused my younger sistser, Mandy and I to live on our own at home One reason Dad left us was because of my illness. I was a burden to his life. He was unable to handle my hefty hospital bills and decided to leave us to have a better life.

Everyday, I visited Mum at the hospital after school. Even though i had piles of homework to complete, I did everything at the hopital and tend to forget about having lunch or dinne. As days passed by, Mum's condition did not get any better and the same goes for me. Mum was too weak, she could only mumble to Manyd and I, "I love you." Every night, both of us wept silently on our beds.

It had been four months since Mum was hopitalized but her condition became worse. At the saem tim, I was having my major examination. However, my studies in school was getting worse. There were lesser hope for me to pass my GCE O'level Examinations. I was demoralized by the situation i was facing. It was as if my whole world was beginning to fall apart.

Earlier this morning, I woke up struggling hard enough to breathe. Mandy who slept beside me on a queensized bed, woke up, terrified by my sudden reaction. Without hesitation, she called the ambulance which arrived minutes later. Thankfully, the hospital was not far away from home.

When we arrived at the hopital, I was rushed into the emergency room, living Mandy behind in the waiting room. My vision was blurred. The white light that flashed onto my eyes seemed brighter than usual. However, i could still hear the conversations of the doctor and nurses.

"The hole on her heart has expanded. There's no way we could do anything about it but to have a heart transplant surgery to save her life. Hurry! Make some arrangements now!" Doctor Leu ordered his nurses calmly.

In a few seconds, i have lost visions when everything turns white. However, i was awakened by the touch of a frozen hand. When i opened my eyes, I saw Mandy weeping by my side. When she noticed that i was awake, she hugged me and wept harder than before.

"Oh Mandy! I was afraid that i's going to be the end of my life. What happened? Is Mum fine? Please don't tell Mum that I'm here," many questions ran through my mind.

"Sis, I have something to tell you. You must be grateful that you are still alive. Mum has sacrificed her life and gave you her heart. There was no choice but Mum was so generous and decided donate her heart to you. The doctors said taht Mum's conditioned was also in a critical state and she ahas the perfect match with yours. Thus, Mum decided that it's time for her move on. Mum said that she wants you to look after me. Sis, I'm really sorry".

I was stunned by the words that came out from her mouth. I became stationary for a moment as Many continue to hug me and cry. Mum have made too much sacrifices for us. I was deeply touched. Thus, to fulfill Mum's last wish, I am ready to make a change and turn a new leaf. I believe there is still time for me to ctach up with my studies. I will take good care of Mandy ans myself. I whispered to my heart, " Mum, thank you so much for everything. I love you Mum".

GreY

2010-09-19T13:19:00.009+08:00

It seems like there's no one came by so i guess i'll just keep you to myself.
Just you and me.. ^^

Firstly, Selamat Hari Raya!! Maaf zahir dan batin..It's already been a week but my collection hasn't 100 bucks still. -.- But anyway.. Yesterday, we manage to have a Hari Raya Outing with friends!. I did have fun!! Love them much. But guess what, when i reached home, it was a big disaster for me. I saw my house was still in a mess just like the time after we went off to continue our hari raya journey. -.- Then, after watching Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak, i got fed up and went to clean the house. Wash the dish and stuff... I'm tired and sleepy already for goodness sake! Their just wasting my time!
And guess what, i was the only one cleaning the whole house while Mummy sleeping on the living room floor and Sister busy playing computer games.. I can't believe it!! The day before, Sister didn't do a single thing when people visit my house. I was the only one cleaning. Fuck!!! What have i done? Why do i always have to get the punishment!! Unfair!!!!! I wanna cry!!! I cried already yesterday........ night.

And guess what.. Today, Mummy ask me to change one of my cat's pampers.. Sister didn't change it yesterday so i have to do it.. Isn't this obviously unfair?? When i didn't change it for the whole day, Mummy scold me like Hell. Why Mummy let Sister go but i can'? Why do i always have to clean up their mess? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Anyway, SYOG invited all volunteers to an appreciation party at Univeral Studio!! Fu-yoh! Gerek gila!! But didn't manage to take all the rides.. Due to time constrain. Went home at 12.30am, Daddy took us home. I have made a decision to come back next time. And really mean it! ^^ However, i did bought some souvenier for my family. I bought Daddy a small flash light which i didn't expact it to be so cool. Like wanna take it back.. haha. I bought a keychain for Mummy cause i have no idea what to buy for her. Lastly, i bought a pen with U.S. on it for Sister and myself. But guess what, Mummy wouldn't want to accept my gift and said that she shouldn't have given me 20 bucks so that i won't spend on this stuff. WTF. It's something that you will never know if you can come back to the place and atleast bring back some token for memories. Once in a lifetime memory.... Why can't she just appreciate the things i do?! Atleast for once, i bought something for Daddy when i didn't bought for him anything from Hongkong Disneyland, few years back.
-.-
Anyway, a lot of things had passed but...
Let bygones be bygones.

Here are some SnapSnap.

We were drenched. Fuh!
^^
This year we're Grey!
Us ^^

Okay thats all.

gtg, i'm out.

Changes.

2010-09-04T03:08:00.004+08:00

Hello.
I've done some changes here.
Hope it's much neater than before.
Kinda bored anyway..

Anyway..
Finally, I'm done with prelims!
Yesterday was the last paper, Art.
Believe it or not, i didn't sleep yesterday, just to finish up 5 prep. boards for Art.
If i'm not getting any A1 for this, i'm so gonna tear off my art piece!!!

Teacher's day performance was.... okay.
I did missed a line, heh.
Well, i wasn't the only one.
But i'm glad that our mission was accomplished!
And made Ms Lim cry unexpected tears!
Yes ah!
There's more to come...
Soon , after o'levels. haha.
*photos can be seen in Facebook.

Okay thats it.

Off to sleep.. zzzZZZZz
*Orang tu sombong.Dah lah lama tak jumpa.
Tak teringat ke kenagan-kenangan lama?
Sedih per?
When you use to say, "Let's see how long our friendship could last.."
It was never long.
And you're fatter btw.
I bet you've been stealling food from the kitchen late at night.
WTF.

Contract

2010-08-30T17:58:00.003+08:00

Hello there.

Sorry cause i've been using you just to let out all my bad days... Probably i'll have happy times after O'levels. ^^

Today was such an irritating day!! Firstly, i was having Maths Prelim paper 1 and 2. Paper 1 seems like a glowing light for me to pass. Paper 2, brings down all my hopes to do my very best. I even fell asleep. After the paper, a friend of mine told me to gather in my classroom for Teacher's day Performance. There's some problems going on about us performing. Mrs Manu wouldn't let us graduating students to perform. So Ms Azeanni and Mr Leong went to persuade our principals and in the end managed to convinced them. However, in one condition. All of us have to sign a contract which stated about our behaviour in school and stuff, since major exams are drawing nearer. I have totally no problem with that my band mates are not around. I was being told at a very last minute. By the time i knew about it, my band mates had already went off.

Big deal. I treid persuading her that if we are allowed to sign it early morning tomorrow. However, i was told off and Thank God ive got to know something that blows up my day. It's not about her scolding me, even though it was unreasonable. But it was the fact that, somebody whom i know quite close.. She told that somebody earlier this morning to pass around the message to meet her after school. And guess what, that somebody didn't even talked to me about and it someone else told me about the meeting instead. Why didn't that Somebody told me about it earlier?!! WHY?! WHY?!! What did i do wrong??

So i was burning up all the way and headed home, since my band mates couldnt make it. Obviously, we aren't gonna perform..

WAIT! I've got a call..

Baik! My band mates just called me and decided to head back to school, and sign the contract. Great. BE RIGHT BACK!

.................................

Im back!!

Yes, so we managed to sign the contract and WILL BE performing tomorrow. So look out for us! yeah. I'm just sooooo Glad that that somebidy couldnt mke it.... Hahahaha!!!!!!! YEAH!!

So, tonight we're gonna rehearse and stuff... Wish us the very best!!

Enough of todays news....
Anyway, there's a lot of things you're missing out..

Youth Olympic Games. I didn't really particapate but i did became a volunteer at the Marina Bay float during the Opening and Closing Ceremony. My job was to just usher their way in and out. Manage the traffic also. It was such a once in a lifetime experience. Thank God i was once a volunteer of YOG!
Yeah!

Um.. MT results are out. And i 've got a C6. That bad. Like duh, i'm so gonna retake! English Olevel oral had also passed. I think i did, not to my high expectations.....

Yup, I'm still currently having my prelims now.. Left Phyisics and Art. Yay!

Okay. I'm done here.
GTG..
OUT!

dazed

2010-08-07T00:21:00.006+08:00

Beautiful Face *blueak*

Hello world!
*crickets*

Okay, wait. I think i should just say hello blog. I don't think the world's gonna read this stupid and pathethic stuff.
Which belong's to me. So what?It's mine.. -.-

Yes, it has been a month. Well, i was busy. Like always.. So much had happened within these days.
According to date, i had my MT Olevel Oral on the 9th July. I should say, i'm thinking of B4. It was suppose to be easy but it seems so hard for me to find the right words in malay. -.-
What will happen if i accidentally mentioned 2 english words and have more than a silent pause?..... After oral, i think i had my MT Olevel Listening Comprehension on the 20th. If i'm getting more than 3 mistakes for this, this shows how bad is my understanding and my ear is. I was sitting right infront of the radio, goodness sake!Results should be out maybe next week.

The next day was Racial Harmony Day! It was the best RHD in my whole life in JWSS! Well, pictures should tell you why.

So after RHD, it would be National Day Celebrations! Which was yesterday.Another best event.^^ There are videos taken and i have upload it in YouTube and by viewing it, it was sad to say that it will be the last time i'm celebrating with people in JWSS. So sad... :'(

These are all the major events that had passed. What about the minor ones??

Our school have a new Vice-Principal, Mrs Manu. My class is adapting to her. Since my class was black-listed....
-.- She came during extra maths lessons.. Oh yar, we'll be having maths lessons for every MT period and only English on Thursday. I can't survive with four periods of Maths!!!! WTF!

Art Olevel submission had extended to 9 September. Actual date was on 13 September. After going through consultation with Mr Hakim, i have lots of work to do. Well, you can say i have finished all my 8 boards but my stuff are just to messed up. All i need to do is just to rearrange and add in some important stuffs. I just cant wait to finish it up and get over it.

Teacher's Day Audition was on thursday. And yes, i participated in it. Was a super last minute thing. Only practised after school for like 2 times and during reccess time. -.-

It's exactly 2.17AM now. Wondering why i was still up late at night? I'm freaking uploading those videos for ND and Soccer interclass. -.- zzzzzZZZZ

I guess that's all now..
I'm out!

And i've got over you, finally on 25 July.

Sore throat kills.

2010-07-07T22:09:00.004+08:00

I don't know what's gonna happen to me but i'm feeling freaking irrittated with almost everything.

Firstly, my sore throat. After i post my previous post, my sore throat gone worse and i ended up having fever that night while watching World Cup. It was really bad. A temperature of 38.6. I wore a jacket, with socks and wrapped myself with a thick blanket and off the fan. I still felt freaking cold. I'm like freezing like wtf! I couldn't sleep. But i stil manage to sleep but only a few hours then i woke up again. The next day, i kind of feel much better but the sore throat was still there. Untill today. But what irritates me more is that every night, i have a hard time trying to fine my way to sleep. The sore throat always hit me so bad during the night. Like now. I wanted to sleep actually and wake up at 12 and watch World Cup at 2. I tried many ways to stop this sore. I drink super hot water, TF, Riovida, Honey and Lemon, Strepsils but non seems to work. Urgh!!!!

This thing really worries me. This coming Friday is my Mother tongue oral. And i hope not to attend oral with this Stupid sore throat!! Shits lah!!!

Next, Mummy. Fine, she is always 24/7 irritating. Tsk, it's not like i'm hating her like i'm not gonna talk to her or what. It's always parents versus friends. On monday, some friends invited me to East Coast. I wanted to go but my mum won't let me go. My intention of going there is to just study and do some project work and not to waste my time there.. But that evening i have to visit my cousin's house too. At the same time, Mummy wanted me to accompany her to the market. I got fucking irritated, i didn't go to East Coast nor accompany Mummy to the market. I was fed up, i yelled, '' Ah! I don't know uh! Bingit uh!!". And i went into my room and fell asleep.HAHA.

REally, it's supper irritating when you have to choose between friends and parents. I can't keep going everywhere with Mummy, even at the age of 17! Come on, get socialise with the world and have some friends to go out with. Be a normal mother. I can't always be your guardian. I'm in the stage of recoginising my future and understanding life. So far, what i did was to be a mother's child -.-

For once.......

Fine. I'm done here.
OUT!

And i'm irritated with this ignorance.
Been two weeks.
I don't want to believe in False Hope again.
Oh please....

SL Project

2010-07-03T13:22:00.004+08:00

Nur Atiqah (The only malay girl, just like me ^^)

Yesterday was the big day of 5n2. We had our SL project that afternoon. It was a little chaotic cause i didn't expect to teach kids at the age of 3... They are so small, they don't really understand much on what we're talking. It was a little hard to communicate with them. I feel like a giant everytime i walked across them. And yesterday for the first time in history, We finally got a full strength in class!! Yes ah!

After SL project, hang out with some friends and ended up watching World Club together. Haha. Brazil was dissapointing. But somehow i think it's not fair because Holland played rough. Hmph.

I didn't get to my art today. So sad. heh.

Im done here. Out.

Another day.

2010-07-01T21:07:00.004+08:00

For the first time in my life i felt sort of confident to sit for my SS Focused Test paper today. As if a miracle had just happened. And i hope this would be something good. I'm praying hard to get a better mark this time.

And, i just got to know that compare to me and Sister, i was smater in SS then her. Sister told me she had never passed her SS till O'level. At least i did pass, during the pass.. And i realise that i wasn't as stupid as i thought. Mummy always think that Sister was smarter and stuff.. But hey, i got myself a high score for SS between me and Sister! Yay!

One thing that got me mad was when i was studying for my SS and i asked for help, no one does.. -.- Mummy used to said that i didn't really study as hard as Sister. Since Mummy didn't really see me study, i studied infront of them. But when i asked for help, they don't give a fuckin' care! So what's the point?! What the hell did you want me to do?!!

Anyway, it's 1st July and i've got 8 more days to prepare for my Olevel MT Oral. Damn! So fast? I feel myself ain't working hard no more. Tsk, how? Why is speaking in fluent Malay is so hard?!

I mentioned that my canvas was done. Well, not really. Mr Hakim told me that my canvas was still 90% done. I need to do some touching up, here and there. One good excuse for me to come back for Art rather than staying at home. I like it! ^^

Everyone is begining to ask me.. Olevel how?! All i can say is.. Like that uh.. haha. Ask yourself, don't ask me. I don't even know the answer.. But it will soon come naturally. Just follow your heart. :)

Oh yar. To my dearest friends, please stay back for Art and finish up your work. Im freaking worried about you guys. Because i Care.

TC Im out.

Yes! I was Right!
I knew it!!
But the silence is just too much.
Why aren't you moving?
Dont change your mind...

Art camp!

2010-06-25T19:45:00.003+08:00

Hello. Yes yes, I know. Well, at least I'm back.

So how was my holidays? Uh.. Was suppose to spend these days to study or revise... I have not done a single thing. I did English homework, forget the rest. hah. June holidays really does not help me in any ways. It's making me slack. Whenever i'm free, i slept at 3 plus, wake up at 12 noon. I've wasted half a day. Damn.. I've spend 3 weeks coming back to school. Doing art. 8 hours everyday... Well, i just came back from Art Camp actually. For the first time in my life, i wish it never ends. I was really enjoying myself. But not including sleeping in the Dance Room.Freaking cold! Woke up at 4 to pee. The rain in the morning was super bad.. Never like rainy days...

Anyway, i am glad that i am finally done with my canvas!!! Yes ah! But i miss painting, heh. I left with my boards. I want to come back for art, maybe i'll help others. Damn, my life was so good. You can do anything during art, and i make sure my work is done. I can't believe it, school's gonna start in two days!!! NO!!

I love hanging around the art room with all the artist together. haha

Talking about shool, shit shit shit.....Have i studied? Tsk! You know, everyone said that they gonna study hard and revise during the holidyas. Well, it seems like non of us are doing it.. hahaha! So how's O'level? Im freaking qlueless. Can i even make it? No way that i'm gonna let this gold of mine being washed away. No Way......

Zahidah, thanks for the sweet message! Wasn't expecting it. Don't worry girl, i'm dependable. Trust me, what i did was from the bottom of my heart. If everyone is happy, im happy :)

TC, Im out!

What are you hiding? I want to know...
I'll wait this time..

Holiday's shits and all about art.

2010-06-10T03:08:00.004+08:00

Damn! I'm so sorry I've abandon you for weeks, i think. God, this is bad. Well, time just don't let me visit you. Forgive me, dear blog.

School Holiday. Been spending 2 weeks in art room finishing my coursework. Good thing is that within 2 weeks I'm already almost done. Yay! Supplementary classes was quite pathetic. Majority only came for Social Studies. Break record, Biology only 5 of us. So sad.

Oh yar, Mother Tongue paper. Uh, no distinction but just a pass. Im depending on my oral now. No matter what. But, speaking in a full sentence of Malay seems quite hard. I can't even do a presentation in Malay. Damn. -.-

Holidays.. Has anyone started doing their school holiday homework? Obviously i have not. Gosh, so much to do but so little time. I missed editing stuffs. I've got my inspirations already.

After meeting some friends at VIVO, met Sister there and visited an Interactive Art Exhibition. The Hood. It was interesting. It was a little crowded, i thought i couldn't get a chance to see what's in those little houses. Then, an Italian lady asked for a volunteer. My reaction was a little slow cause I was looking around if anyone wants to volunteer.

Well, without hesitations, i raised up my hand eagerly.

It was a great experience. I like it. Now I've learn to appreciate Singapore's Arts Festival. Hehe.

Before that, I went to first exhibition in May. Invitation to Dream - A Fire Garden Installation It was nice too. It was kind of waste cause i went there during the last day and it was raining that night. Imagined giant candles hanged into a gigantic ball. I took some pictures. I just want to see more.... !!!

That's it for now.

I'm out.

Keep Talking, I'm Always Listening

Lesson learned: once you get a distinction, you'll never get it back. Think about it.

Knock knock knock?

2010-05-25T16:39:00.003+08:00

Knock Knock? Yeah yeah.. I'm still breathing.. Just having a tough break.. i guess.

Actually, and honestly.. Everything has started to change ever since i've turn 17. Yup. I've got reasons but there's no use telling why.

MYE has ended and the results are out. I did badly for almost everything. But am very sure that i've improved my Geography results. 31 May is Mother Tongue Malay Olevel paper. Im totally not prepared. I did super bad for MYE. Just pass. Shit lah!! Majority said that Malay is easy to pass but wth. Said that always aim A1. Gila?!! Urgh! -.-

Somehow, i feel myself being lost. I don't know why. The voices in my mind keeps getting louder.. My thoughts keeps getting deeper. Even about small little things. Once i just stare at a little pencil, for example. I will think way too far, like how they created pencils.. Who created? How does the creator look like.. how was days during those times when there's no pencils.. Blah blah blah...

Ms Lim had Finally given up the class. Well, i think there's still hope. Im very sure about that. Why don't my class have class spirit? Why?! -.-

Impressively, i actually borrowed a malay novel book from the school's library when we had lesson over the yesterday.It has nothing to do with love stuff, thank God! I think i might even finish it up within a week. Hopefully.

I was browsing for inspiration to do some digital art stuff. Sister took away the comp and caught me red handed. She told Mummy i'm going crazy. I asked ''Why?'' Crazy over these stuff. Haha! This is my interest, why can't i be crazy about it?

I need inspirations, for goodness sake!! Someone please bring me somewhere i've never been, or seen.. I'm blank of ideas!

Thats it.

Im out.

First they curse bad things about you.

Do anything just to make your heart broken.

Then, when they needed someone, they treat you so good.

These are what human beings are...

Happy Birthday!

2010-05-01T13:43:00.004+08:00

Firstly, i am finally 17! Big deal? not really..

Thanks POY for the surprise celebration, again..And the Lady Gaga Miuchi. lol Karaoke was fun, although there are only malay songs.. Some day, i still have to listen to them.. Especially when i start to age more.. AND, thanks Dear Rashidah for the cute little bear keychain! Loving it ;)

English and Mother Tongue MYE papers had past. I had a hard time studying for my Malay. I feel like i want to take tuition for Malay. I'm that bad. -.-

Yesterday night, i went to a motivational talk at 4Life. It was such a waste cause it does not gave me any impact at all. Whatever the speaker said, it was really how i motivated myself when i start to change.. Turn a new leaf.

He told us to close our eyes, imagine if i am alone. With no one around me, nowhere to go.. No parents, no friends.. nothing. Then start to cry, regretting the mistakes that was done. Why would i imagine? If i dare to say i'm always alone? Easy to say, i don't depend on others. Not even my parents. Because i know, someday i will still be alone. And soon, it might be a habit. But, i'm not a loner. -.-

Then, he told us to imagine, have i ever be thankful to my parents? When my mum brought me up and has never give up. Cheer me up when i'm down. Sent me to school, blah blah blah. Crap. Sent me to school? The last time it happened was in primary one. They had never attend to any parent meeting session, other than taking report books. My mum has never carry my school bag before. I iron my own clothes when i was primary 3.I tied my hair when i was in primary 2. Not to forget, they don't even know that i was getting my Nlevel results on the day itself. There's nothing much to thank other than when i was a baby. I'm not a spoilt kid, they never pamper me since young.

Imagine being rejected. Give out flyers but nobody cares to look at it. The feeling of being rejected. Cause me to break down and give up. Not for me. I have been rejected for like... I don't know how many times.. Especially love, and failing education. I didn't give up but moved on. No use giving up and just waste our time.

He said we should make Thoughts Become Things. Well, that was what i have been doing. I used to walk pass a watch shop and keep looking at the casio babyG watch. I wanted it so much, my dream watch. I imagine it on my wrist, so beautiful. However, i finally get the touch of it with my own hard work by earning my own money and bought it. Thoughts Become Things.

It seems like i am already well self-motivated. I can be a motivation speaker in future then. LOL! Why not? Helping people. (:

That's it.

I'm out.

*Behind a Black Sheep.

And the silence will set her free.

2010-04-24T10:15:00.008+08:00

Guess what. POP SUCK!

Well, for the rest, i hope you enjoy it well. But, for people like me especially the Sec 5s. POP = Peace Off Parade Seriously, it really peace me off to the core.They said that Sec 5s are not included. How fucking unfair is that?! So Bias!

Thanks to that irritating guy!! -.- _|_

Anyway, i had a great time yesterday after school with POY! Yeah i know, it's been long since we get to be togther and had fun like this.. And finally! A Friday with nothing else after school!! Yes ah!POY

Anyway, i think silence is my best friend. I've been quiet these days and most of the time even if i'm with anyone else. The best reaction that i could make is only a smile. A smile is much better than nothing.

Exams are next week. Am i ready? Good question, i really don't know. I don't feel like i'm pushing myself much but i think i'm ready. I don't want to be too over confident cause i'll be regretting in the end. But for mother tongue, gone case. I did the close passage for mother tongue during lesson at the computer lab, Hot potatoes. I couldn't get a single answer right for every questions i did. How am i gonna make it??? A Malay who fails Malay. Wait, i'm Chinese. So what? I was taught Bahasa Melayu since Primary school. -.-

I miss the library. I miss reading. I wanna go tomorrow but for what if i couldn't even borrow a book? I have debts with the library, about $9++. Mummy said i should be donating my money to the Mosque, not to the library. -.- Thanks Mum.

You know what? I just can't wait to throw all my text books and exercises in my cupboard. It's gonna be super clean then. And Daddy won't be nagging about it anymore. And i'm so jealous about those who manage to go to poly. They met new people, new friends and get to dressed up everyday! Today indie, tomorrow punk, next day hip hop, then vogue, etc.. Haha! Cool persh?!! I just can't wait!

Amongst all pictures i took with my new phone, i love this best.

Yes! It's Benji of course! But i damn like the angle and the colour contrast. When i took this, i didn't realise any of these at all. But somehow it was watsed cause the switch at he back its totally un-glam.

heh.

I guess thats it.

I'm out.

*Good-bye. And all the best in life.

Diamonds are you all in the sky.

2010-04-18T11:35:00.003+08:00

Firstly, I would like to wish Nasruddin Shah, my cousin.

And Ayah (Cik Tony), my uncle.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ^^

God bless!

Good news! Anyone can start msging me or calling me or whatever you want. Cause i already bought a new phone last week. LG GD510. I'm not choosy but i prefer smaller phone so this one suits me the best.

On last Friday was Speech Day. I was one of the audience there. To be frank, the parade was super boring.We have to watch live through a screen in the hall. Not fun. I only think that the dinner part is the best. haha!

Tomorrow's POP! I'm excited but i won't have the extreme feeling till i sob into tears. No way.Although it's gonna be the final POP.

I think i like my life now. All though i'm a person with no lifeIm able to cope with my studies already and i am well organise now. I like it this way. I'm well prepared. (:

Well actually, i wanted to go to the library today but something happened. My left eye was swollen It was my eyelid actually. I can hardly open my eye. I hope it will recover fast because i don't want to go to school tomorrow with a swollen eyelid. Especially when there is POP!

That's it.

I'm out.

*Sometimes you can't differentiate the difference with coincidence and being planned.

Alone? because i was meant to be...

ps. my phone sucks

2010-04-10T10:46:00.004+08:00

Finally, i have a free weekend for myself. I really need some rest. And some time to cover back what i have left out in my studies. Yes ah!

Well, yesterday we had our 1st JWSS Cross Country at Chinese Garden. At first, i was suppose to meet D and Q at Pioneer station by 6.45am. I reached there at 6.47 i think. But, there was no one there. i see other school mates but didn't see their faces. So, i thought i was late. I went off at 6.55+ close to 7.00. Alighted at Lakeside MRT. ?? i didn't know where to head to.. So i just acted as if i was right, just follow my instinct brings me. When i cross the road, 2 lower sec. girls followed me behind. They talked in mandarin among themselves but i could understand a little. I am sure the didn't know where to go too. So, after crossing the road, before the zebra crossing, i asked them. "Don't mind if i ask, do you know where is Chinese Garden? Or is it that we are at the wrong place?"

They replied, "Uh, actually we are just following you. We are not sure ourselves".

"Ouh, never mind then. Lets just walk together and find our way there.'' i invited them.

So as we walk, we thought we were lost. By then, it was already close to 7.20. I kept asking if we were at the wrong place but they said there were councillors at MRT station, we should be at the right place. We continued walking and we were glad to see a councillor standing near by. And thank god, Shah was at the bus stop. I asked for directions and we manage to reach there safely. I would really like to thank the 2 lower secondary girls for their company through finding our ways. :)

However, when i went in to assemble with the others, there was no one from class 5n1. I was Shock. I thought i was late. Where could they be? Were they lost? Or even late? I'm not sure myself but it kept me feeling guilty to reach there first before them. Finally, they arrived, i was at ease. Thank Goodness! I apologise if i was at wrong. But i'm glad that you guys were there, or else i'm gonna run alone!! :(

Cross Country was FUN but super tiring. I think the tiring part is that to run and be in the positions that were given. It was a hard run though. I was the 50+ runner. I went flat when i finished it. Fuh!

Well, I had no rest after Cross Country but to head down to Home Team Academy (HTA). Gonna receive my SPF badge! During the whole uniform check, *Tea break (lol), briefing and rehearsals, I manage to make some friends among my "squad mates". I was in squad one. There were all easy to talk with. I wouldn't mind if i were to go for CI course with them since i've known them before. Lol. But that doesn't mean i'm coming back!

During the rehearsal of the badge presentation, it was so boring! I was the second person from the second row of seat. There 10 more rows to go. 155 names to say out. God, i was freaking sleepy. The Maristella High School guy sitting on my left was worse. He had fallen asleep till he starts 'head-banging'. I have to nudge him to wake him up when there are sirs or ma'ams around. lol.

They guy on my right keeps the time check before the real thing started. We sat there for an hour. We were restless by then. But as the whole thing started, non of us were sleepy nor restless. Excited like hell! haha!

I was super embarrassed when my picture was shown and i heard murmurs from the crowd. Probably some soft laughter from them. -.- During dinner, met sirs and ma'ams. I was glad that everyone was there. Thanks for coming! And i am more grateful than anyone that D was there too! Really like to thank you too!! Pictures were taken too.

After everything, i reached home at 10.30pm. The last thing i know, i was lying on my bed. And fell asleep. Hehe.

HMM..

About the video thing that was shown on Thursday, I'm sorry if any of you were unhappy about it.

Sec 3 squad, although its gonna be a long break for you guys.. Please go and revise with your squad mates for the drill test. Probably during NCO camp you guys will have it. And i will be there too :) The most i hope for is that to see each of everyone of you to have your second drill badge. Plus study hard fro Mid-Year Exams too! Good Luck!

Ouh ya. Before i end my long post. lol On Tuesday i think, Ms Lim was in tears. I could understand how she felt at that moment. Heartless people made her feel that way. I'm so sorry Ms Lim with the behaviour of my classmates. It was really unfair for you to be treated that way. To be frank, i was glad to have you as my English teacher. You made things clear and understand how hard is o'levels. I was really embarrassed and ashamed when you mentioned.. You were able to handle 2 express graduating class last year and they did very well. But with only one sec5 graduating class and 26 people in it, you are close to giving up. I'm so Sorry. I hope you will forgive all of us.

That's it i guess.. I'm out.

*Not gonna depend anymore.

It's nice though when being asked.

A busy person with no life

2010-03-28T12:56:00.003+08:00

Yes yes i know. Been weeks since i have last blogged. I have been freaking busy even during the march holidays.

Well, a busy person with no life -.-

Looking back from my last post, yes. I still have not bought any phone yet. And my phone currently sucks to the core till who ever ring me, i would just reject. I do not want to talk in a loudspeaker mode -.- So don't call ME people.

Campcraft is finally over for both teams. I still miss campcraft though. Congrats to the guys team as they manage to get 5th place. Well done! Anyway, both sides of the captains have got a surprise for the campcraft team Next, congrats to myself, Shah and Pei Shan who had been nominated to receive the SPF. *Thumbs up*

Actually, i have not much to say. I just felt pitiful for my blog. Not updated. Well, today i'm gonna head to the the library to finish up all my left over homework. Anyone can just come by and accompany me. Of course, im going there alone.

uh....

thats all i guess.

Im out.

*Somebody give me a sign, and everything is not going as planned.

Frustrated

2010-03-06T09:34:00.002+08:00

It is only the start of the day and i'm already feeling so frustrated! URGH!! Firstly, i'm not gonna get a new phone today. High chances, not gonna get ever.. -.- Secondly, there's no food to eat at home. Mummy is Freaking lazy to cook. Even is she does cook, i couldn't find anything edible in any of the kitchen cupboards. -.- Thirdly, I rather be grounded. I'm sick of leaving in this world that everything you do have to pay a price. I'm going out later with not a single note in my pocket. Wtf. I wanna live in a kampong where everything to me is free. Get to have our own crops to grow. We'll be rich with food by then. At least we are able to survive. Urgh!!

I'm freaking irritated with everything right now. Tsk. I have depts to return. With the stupid investment thing going on with Sister and Mummy, i was included too. And how much money i borrowed from Mummy, i have to pay her back. Even going out with friends during weekends is considered as borrowing. WTH! Because of this, I have 5 bucks per week for my school pocket money!! I spend almost 12 hours per day in school, and only a dollar per day. With nothing to eat at home. Who would not be starving?!!

Moving on

2010-03-05T21:41:00.004+08:00

Whatever happens, we have to forgive and forget.

That's how we make our lives move on.

It doesn't matter if we lose or win.

Like i've said, it's about the way we finish it, finish it strong.

Girls, you did well.

Who's not proud of you girls?

You are the best!

Anyway, I would like to congratulate myself and my dear cousin, Shah for finally being promoted to Station Inspector rank.

Our efforts were not wasted.

Good job!

Sedara Jiwa. X)

So far i'm coping well with my studies, I think.

At least i did improve in some parts..

Which i'm not sure what is it. lol

Had 2.4km run for NAPFA test.

I ran 14.31mins.

That's a B grade, should i retake or stay put??

Hmm...

Well, everything is going to be as per normal.

No more trainings.

I hope nothing will distract me from passing my O'levels anymore.

Since one of my year resolutions had failed.

This time, no matter what.

I 'm so going to pass!!

Finally, i am able to have time for myself again.

Reading books etc..

Tomorrow gonna get a new phone! Yes ah!

I can barely tahan anymore with the current phone i have, which sucks to the max. -.-

Although i'm getting a zero dollar phone.

At least i am able to text people and stuff without having any problems with the phone.

Tomorrow, gonna go out with the Campcraft Girls team.

Hope this friendship will last long.

Sunday, Paramore's concert.

I still haven't decide on what to dress.

-.-

lol

I think, that's it for now..

I'm out!

I was about to hold back when suddenly something happen, which i never expect to.

Is this just my luck or coincidence?

What is this?!

False Hope

2010-03-01T19:01:00.007+08:00

Its over. But no one was satisfied. Although flagstaff did quite well, which i wasn't expecting it. Almost every training sir didnt like our flagstaff. Finally we prove him wrong. A judge actually complement it saying, well done. I'm proud of it. Good Job. Well, lets just hope we could smell the Final ground.

After the competition, campcraft team had a little outing together. Had fun with then, although i was the oldest there.. haha

Sunday went to the library and did my homework, revise a little on Social Studies for the coming focus test. Met quite a number of school mates. After that went out with Mummy to JP. Met up with Sister and Daddy as well. Had dinner at banquet. Went home around 10.We spent close to an hour to fine Daddy's taxi, he couldn't remember where the heck he parked it. WTF.

Today, no training.. Just like a normal school day. Shah did his speech during assemble. Okaylah.. haha. Then the assemble performance was like a Chinese opera show. Wth. Damn boring like fuck. I dont get the moral of the story. Whoever shouldn't have invited them to perform. lol.

After school, Bio study group. Studied bout nerve system and the pancreas. Which i did memorise it by heart already. Thank god.

Thats it i guess.

I'm out.

I finally know the truth now.

My brain actually tell lies.

This time is confirm.

I have no choice but to just let it go.

Mixed Emotions.

2010-02-26T19:09:00.008+08:00

Been damn long weeks.. And finally, tomorrow's the very day that i have been waiting for.. Like, Finally! But i'm freaking nervous right now. I'm not fully confident yet. I 'm having mixed emotions right now.. So i really can't tell if i am excited or scared or angry or mad.. Actually, i always have mixed emotions.. heh.

Tomorrow, Girls Campcraft Prelim Competition. I wish to all of my girls the very best for it and please remember our Spotlight!! Go Girls! Dont give up! Chiong all the way!!! Guys did very well, so i hope we will meet them during finals! GOGOGO!

Anyway, what had been going on with my life these days... I've been flunking my focus test all they way.. However, i finally able to keep myself awake during Maths lessons. Thank God. So far, i'm still okay with Vectors.The first few chapters, CMI.

Previously, had Geography Focus Test. Confirm i'm gonna fail 'cause i studied the other forest except for coniferous forest. Wtf, which it actually came out. -.-

Finally, Mr Hakim accepted my explanations and inspirations for my art! Yes! And i think i am able to hand in my 3rd and 4th board by next week. I just need my artist reference which i finally understand how to search one.

I started Biology self-study with Mdm Chan. I think it is really a good way to revise. But, most of the time she's not in. -.-

Well, just now during the last period of class, Ms Lim told us about her life story. Actually, i was about to cry cause i couldn't get the chance to speak out about what's going on with my life. No one seems to understand.. I want to pursue my dreams. I really want to study, pass o'levels and get into the course that i want. I even have the course magnet pasted on my class desk. But, wth. Sir said to put away all the school stuff away for now. But i dont want. I am already able to cope with my studies and i cant bare to be left out anymore. I'm depending much on myself cause no one in class are putting in the effort. I can see it. They are not serious about these things. I want to earn as much money for my future. I dont want to waste a single thing in my life!!!! For goodness sake!!!

I'm done.

:'(

I think we're getting closer, just don't know how and where to start.

I'm silent, you are silent.. No one makes the first move..

But i know, i never lie.

Damn it.

Holidays

2010-02-12T22:48:00.003+08:00

4 days of rest = One whole day of sleep, Two days of revise, One day to chill.

Yes ah!

This week wasn't that good
Campcraft Trainings are not consistent.
Guys, i have no idea but you guys will alwyas have my fath in you guys.
I believe that you guys can make it to the finals, so does the girls.
Jia you! as always..

I'm beginning to fail most of my test papers.
I failed my Biology test and had to come back for remedial lessons.
Had never pass a of my Maths test.
Especially Malay Focused test.
I've gt 20/50.
Baik perh?
Aww man...Tsk.

Art, i got stuck when Mr Hakim asked me questions about what i'm doing.
I went blank!
After i handed in my 2nd board, i wrote down all the explanations needed.
And, i guess i finally know what i'm doing. haha!
What the heck!
Frankly speaking, I hate what i'm going through right now.I never want to start my 2010 this way.
It didn't go the way that i wanted.
What i have already planned before.
My resolutions.
-.-
Urgh.I feel myself weakening.
Campcraft Competition is drawing nearer, so as Mid-Year examinatins.
There's too much to absorb but i'm getting physiclly tired each day.
Fingers are begining to feel more numb.
I didnt get enough of sleep everyday.
Tsk.
I dont wana be a sore loser.
Giving up half way, regreting about coming back.
Damn.
Simply, I'm just physically tired.
And please, dont't deferentciate me with other people cause my brain works slower then whoever knows.
-.-

Anyway, today's Total Defence day somehow keeps awake.
Though our class had only 11 pathetic students that came for today's activity.
Ms Lim bought us some snacks fo us during recess time.
Yummy!
Free food! haha.
We did a colage as a class fo a competition.
Well hopefully, our class will win.
Yeah 5N2!
No one's a failure.
lol

*So it wasn't just me then.
It was proven that my brain had never tell lies.
I didn't expect these Signs to happen.
The Signs that are obvious enuogh for me to read the body language.
And finally,i understand what's going on.

I'm done here.
Happy Holidays!

Hardwork

2010-02-05T22:22:00.004+08:00

First of all, i would like to congratulate myself for earning the Best Unit Cadet badge for this year.

As well as to my cousin Shah, who receive it too.

We work hard for it but still, this will to have be our motivation for aiming Champion for Campcraft Competition or else, we can forget about it.

Well, i really hope and pray to god that nothing is gonna let us down.

Girls Team, improving but the speed was still quite slow.

Guys, I wish all the very best to each of you guys.

Unfortunately, tomorrow will be our last Saturday.

Champion, here we come!!

Jia You!

Also, congrats to myself that i have also been one of the two person in class who did pass the English Focus test.

It was what i totally expected, as mentioned from the previous post, 13/25.

And that was the highest too.

*Giving a tap on my shoulder*

Well done Naafisya!

But still, i could have done better.

Malay Focus test, a little question mark to some of the questions.

I just hope i'll pass. haha

Surprisingly, i have actually prepared all the sketches i needed for my Art second board.

And the board will only be given on the next lesson which is on next Wednesday.

*Smiling from ear to ear*

I'm proud of myself.

Keep up the work.

Sadly, I am not able to bring back my N'level canvas. :'(

Not fair.

Maths lesson, still no changes.

However, i was having a short conversation with Mr Yip.

He asked if i am still going to CCA.

Like duh.. almost everyday.

He asked what time I was dismissed and when i replied, 6.30 to 7pm latest, he went sliltn for a while. Haha!

Then, he asked if i could cope with my studies.

I said, the rest of the subjects are still okay, except for maths.

But Cher, don't worry cause after the Competition end, i will chiong all the way!

And guess what, he imitated my words and laugh at it.

So Mr Yip, I'm so gonna prove you wrong.

I swear from the bottom of my heart.

Oh yar, Mr Yip even said that i was getting more tanned, so as Ms Pang(Dont know the spelling).

Actually, I'm just Over Tanned >.<

I should have suggested to sir that after getting Champion, might as well ask him to send us for skin whitening treatment.

Haha!

We have sacrifice our skin and i want my fair skin toned back! urgh!

Not forgetting something.

I'm going to Paramore's concert on the 7th March.

I don't seem excited cause i am really not.

I just go for the sake of going.

I have just wasted my money within a snap of fingers.

Stupid me.

#This is something to motivate some people out there.

Never say you Try your best but Do your best.

Have Initiative to take the first step up.

Soon, the rest will Follow.

It's not about how you Do it, it's about how you finish it.

Finish it Strong.

*Little signs could be seen but nothing's happening.

My mind tell lies but i'm still hoping.

Project X

2010-01-31T22:46:00.003+08:00

Busy days.

Wow.

Long time....

Anyway, i'm just gonna update what was being left out.

Well firstly, Campcraft Trainings.

As days passed by, it's getting more scarrier than i thought.

About two weeks to go for prelim.

And Sir is badly craving for Champion.

All of us are but i just dont see the spark.

Like, you keep rubbing 2 rocks with each other but nothing came out no matter how gad damn fucking hard you tried.

-.-

School.
Like i've said, i've been making Maths period into a sleeping period.

But i really really cannot help it.
My eyes, they just close buy itself -.-

I failed my first maths test.

Damn it, if only i didn't sleep.

Art, i'm still kind of not sure of what i'm doing. haha

I'm doing my best to develop something from what i'm trying to do.

What the heck.

First focus test paper was English Summary.

I think i might probably get 13/25.

I'm not sure what i was scribling cause i was about to fall asleep too. haha!

Tomorrow!

Another Surprise!

Project X.

Kind of nervous...

Gonna face the whole school again.

Aww man!
Go 5n2! No one's a Failure!

Oh yeah, yesterday after Training, wnt out with Mummy ans Sister to JP to buy a new printer. And i bought myself a new pair of shoes which i love it a lot.

The cost was impresively really cheap. ^^

Tsk, please get use to the changes.

Be sure of what you're saying.

That's all i guess

Nights.

*Weird things getting weirder.

Just how much longer till i see it coming through.

Dilema.

2010-01-16T19:07:00.005+08:00

This is So cool! I envy this.

Been a week.

Well, i'll just talk about what has been going on currently.

Today, had our first campcraft team breakfast at JP Mac'D.

I'm so glad that all of my girls team came for it.

After that, as usual.

Campcraft training 8.30am till 4.00pm.

Overall was kinda okay.

But dont't be too complacent of course.

No matter what, aim for champion!

Yes ah!

Spotlight!

hmm..

Guess what, the O'level results this year are really freaking me out.

Most of the express stream did very well.

Im so jealous.

But the secondary five students doesn't really give any hope for me to take the challenge.

They did quite bad although most still make it to polytechnic.

And just after all this things came through, i 'm beginning to fall asleep in class.

Especially during maths lesson.

Now i'm still one chapter back compare to my classmates.

Damn it.

I'm afraid that i can't cope with it.

I know i'm always tired because of campcraft.

But i have to learn to manage my time.

Even Mr Yip said that if your eyes can't bare to open any longer, we have to let it rest.

It's an important strategy to keep you feel prepared for whatever that is going to happen next.

But, WTH.

-.-

Thank god, lucky it was just maths that i have missed.

Yes, i have received my O'level art topics.

And i choose Knot.

I have no idea why but hopefully is not the majority topic taken.

This time it's harder.

Have to take our own pictures, no more resources from the internet.

Damn it.

Tsk.

I'm still lack of ideas.

Oh yeah, SPF badge here i come!!

haha!

OUT.

*Seeing things that i shouldn't expect.

It's making waiting and wanting more.....

New Year!

2010-01-09T03:45:00.007+08:00

Hello there.

It's been weeks since i have last posted.

Busy days...

Well, first of all.

Happy New Year!

I hope welcoming 2010 will not be a regret at the end.

They are lots of great events i'm going through this year.

I got my olevels, and my Campcraft Competion.......

Just wish me all the best to get these things through with expectation results.

Championship and 17 points!!

Anyway, During the new year, went out with some mates.

Enjoy myself very much.

Here are some pictures taken.

Oh yeah, i'm not working anymore.

Like, finally ah!!!

haha!

Working days brings memories but it sucks totally.

I only miss 10% of it.

haha!

We even throw our uniforms away straight after the last day of work.

^.^

Never coming back.

Currently, working on Campcraft T-Shirt.

Still deciding on colours.

Tomorrow, i mean later..

JWSS CCA Open house, gonna abseil again!

Yay!!

Another big event coming on Tuesday.

Hehehe...

hmm.. what else?

Oh yeah, guess what.

I was shocked during the first day in school.

I was the only Malay girl left in class.

Wow!

From index number 18 to 7.

Baik per??

Currently, a total of 26 people in class.

This time, im perfectly lonely.

haha!

Oh well, im used to it.

I hope the class its gonna be much better now with no distractions by ..........

haha!

I guess thats it.

Im out.

Promoted.

2009-12-19T22:29:00.007+08:00

Okay.
Im bringing back some good news.
Yup im stress free!!

Actually not fully lah..
Well, i'm finally promoted to Sec 5!!!
Wohoo!
I thought i might get 18 or 19 marks..
But i actually get 17 marks..
Fuh..
I'm just glad that i did pass.
Thank god!

One thing that dissapoints me is that.. well..
Ofcourse, the first person to know that i did pass is POY.
Second is my classmates..
Third is my Sir and some NP mates..
Fourth was my OBS friend.
Fifth was Q's mother..
And none of my family asked me..
:'(
Everyone was busy answering calls, replying messages.
But not me..
See, everyone in their family are concern about them..
Mine...
Oh gosh........

Well actually, the day before Mummy mood wasn't that good..
i dont know why suddenly her mood swings..
I was on my way home from work with D when we decided to send Q's barangs to her at her house.
At that moment, we were actually hungry and out of cash. heh
Good thing is, we were invited in.
And Q's mum decided to treat us MacD at PM.
At that time, my battery flat.
So i called up home and told Mummy about it.
But what the heck, she said ive been going out for like sometime..
I should be back early after the treat..
And after that, Q thought of inviting us sleepover at her house since there's only her mum and nenek left at home.
But something just isn't right.
I tried calling home but Mummy didn't want to talk to me.
So, sleepover is not a good idea.
I reached home 11plus and the gate is locked..
Lucky i kept an extra key.
I went in the house, Mummy didn't want to talk to me.....
Argh!
The next morning, i woke up by myself.
Packed my bag cause i'll be having Campcraft and results so need to bring uniform..
I asked Mummy for some pocket money to eat and she gave a dollar to spent for the whole day...
-.-

Well, she finally asked about my result, hours later..
One hour after ive reached home from school..

.......................................................

WTF.

I'm moving on.

This time, im gonna show to the rest of the family that, i passed my N'level and I WILL pass my O'levels.
Yes, I'm not stupid.

Anyway, ever since campcraft started, im getting darker..
I even have some colour tones on my face because of my specs.. haha!!
I just can't wait to start over the flagstaff..
I really got to train my partner hard..
Whoever it might be, please work with me well.
Oh yar, Sir is giving a green light to have a campcraft T-shirt.
Yay!
Well, ofcourse..
I have something in mind already.
Don't worry sir, i'll make sure you'll approve the design..
hehe.
You always does, but the editing of course that takes time.. haha!

Finally, im starting work as usual tomorrow..
Everything is already been fixed.
And please, those who already seen us working there, dont Spread!!
Paisey you know!!!
-.-

Okay, i guess thats it.
I'm out.

Tonight's gonna be a good night..

2009-12-17T01:19:00.009+08:00

Yes, Prom is done...
And Results is on Friday..
Scary or What?!

These days, i've been busy working and schooling..
School as in CCA.
We're back to train on Campcraft.
I just hope our trainings are not a waste..
The only best way is to promote to Sec5 in order to get back into the team..
Oh please, I just hope i really did pass!!

Work is geting more tougher ever since a tragedy happened.
Not once but twice!
Not gonna elaborate on this cause its a damn long story...
LOL

Work and School is really making me feel damn tired.
Its so stressfull..
Have to ballance both together.
Damn..

Here are some pictures during prom..

(Brick by boring brick)

Links to view more..

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=229181003781#/album.php?aid=164971&id=594624713

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=229181003781#/photo.php?pid=3048981&id=776398459

What else?

I guess thats it then.

OUT.

2009-12-07T02:50:00.005+08:00

Okay, i know it's random. haha

And i'm still awake.

Anyway.....

I figured out this..

+The most Sexiest voice I've ever heard is from..

KYLE PATRICK, CLICK FIVE.

Just listening to him singing a sentence could make me melt.

Even when he talks..

He's voice, so low..

Very strong and mature.

Gives me tingles. lol

Aww.

+The most Sexiest eyes I've ever seen is from..

ANDY 6, BLAK VEIL BRIDE.

It's impossibly original eyes..

But i couldn't find a single photo with his eyes in other colours even in his older pictures.

WoW.

Hottest chic in Metal/Core band is..

KARIN AXELSSON, SONIC SYNDICATE.

She's just so hot.

Her hair is beautiful.

She's just like the dark sweet angel.

\m/

To Be Continued...